If it was me, I would tell the spouse to leave me, and I suspect that if the position was reversed she would tell me the same.
If possible, I would try to get her to some place where she has some chance of survival. Get the kid's to safety (if possible) and then go back for her.

Dead is academic. I would bury or cremate the remains , time and the tactical situation permitting.

p.s. I think that these scenario's are a good idea because anyone who is serious about equipping to survive has to consider and be prepared to face and take the hard decisions.