I told my wife that and she thought it was pretty funny. There was a British courtroom drama called Rumpole of the Bailey (Rumpole was a defense lawyer), and Rumpole always referred to his wife as She Who Must Be Obeyed. Regarding use of the definite article (the wife), I once attended a seminar on interviewing given by FBI agents, and they said that people avoid the possessive when they wish to disavow relationships or distance themselves from knowledge of something or someone. Not that I'm suggesting that anyone here would have some similar motivation to someone the FBI finds to be a "person of interest".

As for the question at hand, when reduced to true everyday carry (i.e., no purse), my wife will only carry house-keys, cell phone, and an ASP Key Defender (pepper spray). She takes this on night-time walks and jogs.