Bounty,

But I AM a dangerous sociopath!

Going back to Maggot's comments about his encounter, it's doubtful that one could get any lawyer to take an interest. Woman cried wolf, manager found no wolf, everyone went back to work unharmed, end of story. Hopefully the manager explained to her that a box cutter is the appropriate tool to open boxes. That's why they're called "box cutters".

Maybe from now on put her in charge of opening boxes, and by all means, don't let her see the paper cutter! Better yet, let's remove all sharp and pointy objects from the workplace. Gotta keep the lawyers and the WSA (Workplace Security Administration) happy.

It's time to reel in the lawyers and get back to the real world.

Steve