Maybe what I am going to say is "awkwardly" close. Whatever that means. There were times of extreme pressure , anxiety, and depression. Add disappointments in the mix, plus a few health issues that makes a person even doubts himself and his abilities to face stuff when no one around was caring enough or knowledgeable enough to be helpful enough.

Well, believe it or not, my EDC bag became the 'volleyball' of my life for that period. It was the only thing that I would be confident enough to have what it needs to get sh*t done. Well, everyone of the EDC folks can say that , but in times of extreme psychological pressures, you may just have a bit more attachment to that "thing" than merely a container for useful stuff. Indeed , I call it now "companion bag" since it has become my companion ( and to a lesser extent, the EDC culture is not known in my corner of the world).

Yep. My companion bag is so close to me that I was saddened to see a few marks of aging, and was upset that I didn't buy all 4 similar bags I saw in a store a few years back. It's nothing fancy. Price is equivalent to U.S.$ 5-6, but really really worth it.