Eugene,

It obviously took a lot of personal conviction and inner strength to make your very concisely worded post which I believe will assist others in their journeys on similar paths.

Regrettably, in my extended family of in-laws, there is an autistic male about 30 years old now.

His father died several years ago and his mother is now the sole caretaker. It has gotten to the point that she will soon have to place him in an assisted facility due to his increasing regression and belligerence as he gets older. He is unbelievably strong and is becoming a danger to himself and others. Even though I have been around him on occasion for over 20 years now, he still surprises me from time to time.

At family gatherings, we HAVE to HAVE several people overseeing him as he will get out of hand on occasion. This includes monitoring him especially around food, unless he is handed a plate of food, he will walk up and start pawing at the buffet table food, eating everything at each food station until he simply vomits it all over the place, at which point, he repeats the process. We have to keep him away from any visual line of sight from the food displays and keep him suitably occupied with his own plate.

He has two little cousins that he adores, but he can't be trusted with them due to size and strength issues. Where the four year old cousin will simply be upset and maybe scream if she doesn't like something, he will simply lash out and hit others. At this point, he simply does not have any "filter" remaining to know when he has actually hurt someone.

While he has been receiving speech therapy as well as various other therapy and counseling for most of his life, but it's not a good situation and his mother has had to come to the realization that action is needed sooner than later. Although he has two normal older siblings that pitch in and assist their mother, like all the rest of us, they also have their own family and work obligations to deal with.

The only thing that I can add to your clearly heartfelt observations, it to "hope for the best and prepare for the worst", which it looks like you're already doing.

You and your family have my sincere admiration and best wishes in dealing with your son.