Fire Captain: "Mr. Magnet? Your wife doesn't want to get in the ambulance."

My words: "Dear, I think you better get in the ambulance."

My tone: GET IN THE $&£€ING BUS RIGHT NOW BEFORE I LOSE MY #¥%^.

My thoughts after I heard myself say it: "I do not usually speak to my wife that way."

My wife's words after I said it: "Okay."