I would recommend pm'g Hikin_Jim . He's the resident stove expert and has great insight. Unfortunately he hasn't posted in a long time. He also has a very well written blog http://adventuresinstoving.blogspot.com/?m=1

I would have to go with the others and recommend what you don't want which is a Coleman style multi burner stove. Small, portable and lots of btu's for the size. I've used a Coleman car camping on many occasions. If properly stored the canisters are safe.

Another option would be digging a hole in your backyard and with wood or charcoal making a fire pit or outdoor oven. You can use a Dutch oven in the fire pit which retains heat very well. Benjamin has posted about Dutch ovens on a number of occasions so he and Dagny could give you recommendations. I would think a well made fire pit would add resale value to your home.

http://www.pinterest.com/motheroftrouble/diy-fire-pits-outdoor-stovesovens/

(Not exact what you're looking for but it looks like a fun experiment:)
http://www.motherearthnews.com/real-food...x#axzz39koIDoZ3

One thing I would NOT recommend is cooking in your screened in porch. Flare-ups happen so further away from your house is better in case of any accidents. Also never abad idea to bring the fire extinguisher with you when cooking in the back yard.

Good luck