Back to the OP:

Modern news, by its very nature, floods us with situations that are out of our control. That can be depressing, even paralyzing. But it's a distortion of the world as it really is.

A wise news anchor once said that every newscast should start with "in 99.5% of the world, nothing bad happened today ... now here's the rundown on the 0.5%."

Sounds like you've come to an important realization, though, that there's more going on in your personal situation. It takes real stones to admit that all is not well (I've been there). I sincerely hope you will act on it.

Talk to a physician. Get it out there, on the table. The old chestnut of "man-up and pull yourself up by your bootstraps" only goes so far. If your heart was wildly palpitating, or you leg was broken, would you see a doctor? Of course you would. The brain is an organ like any other, and a long list of events can throw a wrench into its operation.

There is daylight at the end of the tunnel. Reach out and grasp it.

-Doug