I'm ashamed to admit I had a major blow out with my daughter and wife tonight. Just boiling point stuff that blew and got so ugly. I had to leave the house to calm down and let the wife and daughter do likewise.

After a bit I came home to a scolding and talk of divorce came up. Seems Im developing hurtful traits that where exhibited by a past husband in which my wife left him for. I worked it out with my wife because she is my everything. I then had a tense discussion/apology with my daughter that slowly turned into one of loving advice and reconciliation. She amazed me with her spot on advice and for being only 18 she sure is a perceptive gal. My wife has her feelings hurt but we are so good together I know it will work IF I make changes.

They tell me Ive changed for the worse the past 6 months as Ive slowly lost my enthuasim and have been replacing it with a mizture of frusteration, gloom andbitterness (at the world)

They both told me Im to saturated with current events and end of the world mindset. That its good we have preperations but to dwell on it with such a consuming negitive gloomy attitude was hurting the family.

Im not going to ignore current events but Im going to stop them from ruling my attitude. Heck, I died on the operating table this past Feb and you'd think I'd have a blessed attitude but this seems to of messed my mind up in a subtle way. My doctor told me something of this magnatude puts people in a tailspin and suggested counseling to help me find my way back to the joy I once had.

Guess I should fall back and regroup. I'm prepared, knowledgable and improving my skilld fast. Seems we are ahead of so many others already. I should worry less and be thankful for being ahead and ready AND with that under my belt, start enjoting life especially my family.

So Id like to ask you folks, how do you had to balance current events in a crazy world and a bad economy with life and happy family? Is there a way for me to be more happy? I'm going to start including God more and set prayer at the top of my list. Something Ive let slip lately.

To conclude, Ive got a wonderful family that I came close to losing tonight. To top it off, tomorrow is my wifes birthday ugh, I feel like a heal. They are worth changing for and I feel in an effort to protect them Ive ignored them or just changed on them. Man, the pressures of this world just dont let up! Suggestions are welcome to help me retune my thought process away from the state of the world or for a hobby to preoccupy my mind as I have none.

Faith & Friendship
Pooly

PS not looking forward to winter as I suffer from extreme cabin fever