As a Canadian, I'm insulted that I haven't been insulted.

I'll even write 'em for you.

Insult comic: Canadians are so completely lacking in pizzaz. I mean, they can't even screw up their own banking sector. Really? Look around. How hard can it be?

Insult comic: One of the really weird things about Canada is that you can go up and down the streets without getting mugged, carjacked, or shot at. I know it's cold up there, but geez, people, show some initiative.

Q: How many Canadians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: We're not sure, but a Royal Commission has been urgently studying the matter ... since 1947.

(Only Canadians will get the last one.)