Sure I will submit to an interview, right after you place some unholy amount of money into my hand. Highest bidder gets me. Call me a [censored], won't make me feel bad. I'd keep maybe 25% of the cash and donate the rest to charities. Interview only happens after check clears.

Then, I answer in short, usually one word if I can, sentences. Ask me the same question twice, I say "asked and answered". That drives reporters crazy btw. And I'd liberally sprinkle the interview with nonsense answers. "Why did you...?" "Did you know jellyfish and pancakes have no bones?" "Did you walk to school as a child or carry your lunch?" The looks you get are priceless.

Guaranteed, there will not be a second request for an interview.

Maybe I can get one of the jurors to let me substitute for him.