Guys who responded seriously: you know Liath is just kidding, right?

Anyway, the happiest place on earth is obviously where I get occasions to show off my survival savvy and equipment:

Little boy: "Oh, no! I can't open my Mickey Mouse packaging! I shall never play with Mickey and hold him in my hand! Waaaa!"

Me: "Never fear, ETS Man is here!" *I whip out my Benchmade and do what comes naturally. While I'm at it, I notice a man in a Porsche having a bit of problem breathing with that tight seat belt, so I open up my Seat Belt Cutter of Death and, again, do what comes naturally*

Little boy's sexy single mom: "Oh, you are my hero, ETS Man! How can I ever repay you? I'll do anything!"

Porsche man: "Thanks for saving my life, ETS Man. Here, you can have this Porsche. It's been killing me anyway. And I'll babysit the kid with the Mickey Mouse tonight!"

Me: "Good thing I didn't have to smash your window to get to you, because you have a convertible. But I'm prepared to do that, too, with the other end of my rescue tool!"

Later, ETS Man demonstrates for the sexy single mom the non-survival uses of his inflatable latex water container. It's good to be equipped. In more sense than one.

Should we sell this movie script to Goldwyn?

Da Bing