>Darn right, infidel, you are indeed blasphemous!

Well I'm glad to see we are keeping this impersonal :-)
But if you must persist in the foul perversion of coffee drinking (I don't wonder why the USA is the only superpower, it's simple; caffeine has got you all moving 10% faster than the rest of the planet).
Let me give you the best advise you will ever hear:
tiramasu flavoured coffee.
qjs