I'm not one to subscribe to conspiracy theories, but you do know that there isn’t really a shortage, don’t you ?

It’s a secret government department trying to control the population by creating an artificial shortage.
Ever since Roswell the aliens have been visiting earth to steal coffee mugs and office tea spoons. (Sometimes they take my keys too … now you hear the alarm bells don’t you? ….not so crazy now ! Ha !)

“The Department” realised this some time ago adopted the tactic of reducing coffee mug supply to try and deter the aliens from coming. Irresponsible discussion about coffee mug substitutes will only serve to encourage the aliens, who monitor all earth communications with their Echelon system, specifically looking for key works like “coffee mug”, “spoon” and “car key”.

So we all need to start talking in code so avoid detection. From now on its not coffee mug, it’s a “turtle” and don’t talk about a tea spoon of sugar, lets call it a “pongo”.
Example, at the “pet shop” (see how cunningly I avoided saying “coffee shop”) : “Can I have a hot turtle and a couple of pongos please ?” Try that next time you go for a turtle, all the shop keepers are in on it so they will know exactly what you want – really !

So to be responsible I think I’ll ask Blast to change the name of this thread from “Coffee Mug shortage” to “Turtle and pongo shortage” – then we should be safe, but we still have to work out what to do with car keys, if only we could find them.