Could be worse.

I have to get up an half hour before I go to bed; all I have to eat is a lump of dried poison; and then off to my job of licking the road clean, with my tongue. (w/ apologies to Monty Python)

Failing that, remember, there are few people who can keep their heads about them when SHTF. If something truly bad does happen, these are the people who will be able to stay alive. True, at the current time you may work for a geek, but of what value is "Halo" when things truly go into the crapper. Also, their pasty white skin makes them targets, even at night.

Sounds like you need a trip to some nearby area that isn't populated by fruits and nuts.