I'm watching "Apocalypse Man" right now. Seems Mad Maxish at the outset. Given the show's title that makes sense.

He's like The Omega Man -- all alone in the city. But mutant-free and not as clean-shaven.

Am presently dubious about the show's worth, but am entertained by it, as many on ETS would be. Am going to edit this post as I watch the show.

1. Using a tire iron as a grappling hook to secure to the raised drawbridge the rope that you've tied "butterfly" knots into. [note to self: put "how to tie knots" playing cards in ninjapack] One is to use this rope to swing to the undergirding of the elevated span and climb up. Then you are going to trot down the road to some abandoned, blighted buildings where you are going to shelter in for the night. I have an issue with heights so confess to some bias against the practicality of a normal person trusting that the tire iron has a hold and then Tarzan-like swinging out over the water. Let alone hefting their behind up the rope and over the side. {Note to self: find REI, raft, small tent and someplace other than rat-infested creepy building.}

2. How to descend an elevator shaft using the steel cables. Again, my height phobia comes into play here and I wonder how many normal people without a fear of heights would attempt it or what situation would cause them to need to in the first place. [note to self: find Gold's Gym to increase upper body strength]

It was one thing for middle-aged Shelley Winters (a physique approximating a significant proportion of our population) to swim through the submerged S.S. Poseidon. Would she have lept to the center of an elevator shaft to grab and shimmy down steel cables? Could she? I think most Americans attempting that maneuver would splat on the bottom of the elevator shaft.

3. Instruction on using a library's card catalogue system to find the map section. I'd probably check out gas stations or grocery stores for maps. Or steal them out of cars.

4. Instruction on removing a manhole cover so you can travel through the sewer system. I wonder if he has antibiotics in his backpack. And rabies vaccine. Yuck.

5. Hospital - notes that in the case of a crisis, these facilities will be on the frontline and will be ransacked of meds. Our Survival Dude, however, is not after meds. He's after the backup power generator -- where he's going to make his survival base. Flip all the breakers off (lights in the hospital could draw unwelcome attention). Examine the generator. Find fuel for the generator.

6. Getting fuel from abandoned gas station. Diesel's your best bet because most cars don't use it so you're more likely to find some left. Use garden hose and bike tire pump to siphon diesel. Stay on the lookout for useful items (grab the car battery -- a "force multiplier"). Use generator to charge up the car battery you found. Now you can monitor the hospital's entrances with the closed circuit security TV monitor system. Hospital is now home sweet home.

7. Collect rainwater from the hospital roof. Eat unlabeled canned food. Vienna sausages - yum.

8. Problem of loneliness. He's recounting his experience at POW school. Gotta keep searching for someone for company and to sustain dream of rebuilding. [ commercial break ] Survival is pointless without others. See #9 and e-harmony.com

9. Radio transmitter. Find taxi cab dispatch center. [note to self: ask taxi driver for directions] Grab radio battery (12v dry cell), tape recorder, CB radio, a "step-down" (from a coffee maker). Antenna with magnet base. Have duct tape in your backpack.

10. Find high ground (to use your radio transmitter and escape hostiles). Climbs fire escapes. {This building has stairs so he didn't have to climb up an empty elevator shaft.}

11. Broadcast radio message on CB channel 9. Horizon is about 26 miles out which encompasses about 2000 square miles. Broadcast name, date and time, destination. Record this into tape recorder and hit play. Make sure you get to destination a day prior, settle into "hide site" to see who shows up at your rendezvous point.

I'd have probably shot myself back at the drawbridge. Or drowned. But still enjoying the show.

12. How to hot-wire a car. Car battery (the one you charged back at the hospital and are now carrying around town in your backpack) - find car to use it in (parking garage). New car useless, old car good -- diesel is best (reliable engine and rugged). He found an old Chevy Suburban. Looks 80s-ish, or early-90s. Can make fuel for a diesel engine. The car is a "girl." We got wheels. "Got our girl runnin." Gotta make gas. Find Taco Bell.

13. Grease trap is like gold. Looking for grease trap at fast food restaurant. Scrape off white muck, get "clean" oil underneath (no debris). Cook down the grease. Need fire to thin it out, skim off surface any solid material. Methanol (in anti-freeze) and lye (household drain cleaner). Use 5 parts cooking fat to 1 part methanol (acts as stabilizer). Shake well. Half a tablespoon of lye. Shake. Allow mixture to cool. [note to self: drink it to put self out of misery]

14. Looking for people. Omega Manlike drive down deserted street.


The End.


Hmmm. Interesting. Never did see him use the steel wool. I might have left the room for that. Well, I now know how to approximate biodiesel.