Me archaeologist. Gottem shovel. Me dig hole. Heap plenty deep, heap plenty straight sides. Wide enough to straddle and long enough. Think of the tomatoes I can grow in a few years!

About thirty rolls of TP in storage. Improvise a seat pretty quick (my ladies will insist on that) and erect privacy screens with blue tarps. Scrounge around for some neutralizing chemicals - I would prefer lime, but might have to do w/ammonia and soil.

I've got my own house with a fenced, private back yard, so I have an easy situation.

I think your neighbor is mistaken. I believe it still rolls downhill.....at least where I live, the sewer system is on a pretty steep grade and everything goes bye-bye nicely (almost always).