We have studiously avoided the American public school system, which, in my opinion, has been forced to accommodate, tolerate and manage the "edge cases" of behavior & capability to the point of treating all students as threats, treating all cultures as perfect, and all students as equal. As a result, despite considerable financial hardship, we have opted out of that system and instead have been very happy with a one-room Montessori school for my daughter and a Quaker school for my son. My son was previously enrolled in a Waldorf school - we found them ideal for the younger years, not so much the grades.

In the Waldorf kindergarden, the kids have lit candles in the classroom, they use hot water for cooking, sharp knives for cutting and they play outside, every day, rain or shine, snow or sleet, with very, very few exceptions.

In the Quaker schools, we have found that the boundaries they impose on the kids are reasoned, and that edge cases of behavior are separated from trends. So, for example, they have a cell phone policy that's simple: Phones can't be on during the school day. Neither can iPods - the rule is simple: "Anything with an On/Off Switch must be left off during the school day." Knives are also simple. "Pocket knives must be used in a manner that is considered safe by the teacher or supervising adult."

It's not chaos, and I don't agree with all the rules - they have tied a ribbon on the Favorite Climbing Tree to show the maximum height kids are allowed to climb because a few of them made it to the very top of a very large tree a few times. They don't allow the use of Google or Wikipedia. These are two rules I could do without - but I can go directly to the administration and tell them - make a case - for why I don't like a rule and because they have a reasonable conflict resolution process I can expect an outcome that is fair, even when I don't agree with it.