Garleydog,

Your nephew has been online 12 hours straight.
the once pristine keyboard is full of peanut butter and strawberry jam, m&m shrapnel only an afternoon over an anthill can clean and he's talking in gibberish about blogs and other words you at first take to be Anglo Saxon.
His eyesite has been irrevocably damaged and carpel tunnel syndrome in his wrists.All this and he can't even vote or drink yet.

You discover hidden files popping up with some Delilah dancing
for him, your own security protocals overridden and some ukrainian hacker is probably poised to take control of what is left.

And THAT is when the internet needs to be shut down and sling shots sent as a cultural stimulus plan to every household across America.