scafool's on it - have a TTP in place for when the corkscrew gets left behind or breaks. Whittle out as much of the cork as you can and push the rest down in the bottle or 'spank' it - though I hit the bottle base against a tree trunk, not my hand. But it does work.

Sabrage is normally reserved for bottles of the bubbly, but who's to say it won't work on the vino? Gotta try that.

//goes to look for cavalry sabre

Excerpted (for review purposes only) from Mollod and Tesauro's "The Modern Lover," with special reference to sabrage at weddidngs:

During Napoleon's early-1800s heyday, the Hussars celebrated victory with sabrage, the art of beheading a Champagne bottle with a saber. Rumors abound that the tradition began with the grand widow of bubbly, Madame Clicquot, who gave handsome mounted officials bottles of Veuve Clicquot. Inspired by thirst and the recent Reign of Terror, horseback soldiers drew sabers and decapitated their bottles like so many traitors.

The guillotine is long since retired, yet sabrage lives on with the bottle-chopping sabreurs of the Confreirie du Sabre d'Or. Champagne sabering is now reserved for special occasions too festive for extracting corks with a mere twist of the hand.

Bastille Day is never an appropriate time to behead a bottle, and personal holidays worthy of the spectacle include anniversaries, birthdays, and weddings. Don't fret if you can't afford the airfare for a trip to sabre school at the Grand Chapitre; we've spelled out the practical swordsmanship necessary to saber the day:

1. Make sure the Champagne or sparkling wine is well chilled. A warm bottle has higher pressure and risks the foaming loss of much wine, not to mention a loved one's eyeball. Remove the foil and cage; it the bottle is cold enough, the cork won't shoot off prematurely.

2. Examine the bottle and find one of the two vertical seams running up the sides. The spot on the bottleneck where this seam meets the lower lip is the weak point, for which you'll aim. Until you've logged some sabre successes, remove any remaining foil from the neck to spot your target more easily at the base of the ring-shaped lip, known as the annulus. (Should you muff the beheading and maim a bridesmaid, note that this word is conveniently located on the same dictionary page as annulment.)

3. Place your left thumb (unless you're a southpaw) inside the punt (bottom indentation) or simply grip the bottle firmly around the base. Angle the bubbly around 30 degrees above horizontal, pointed away from nearby persons, chandeliers, or stained glass windows. Use a serviette or napkin to dry off a sweating, slippery bottle.

4. Take the sabre in your other hand (handle perpendicular to the seam) and lay the blade flat just below the lip of the bottle. With the blade aimed at the annulus, take a couple of slow motion practice swings to get a feel for the coup de grace to come.

5. Swing with full force away from your body, upward along the neck, and into the bottom of the lip, making sure to follow through. To minimize spillage, immediately turn the bottle upright. The impact, combined with the bottle's internal pressure, spectacularly separates the head from the neck and thrusts the cork, annulus still intact, several feet into the air.

When the bottle is struck perfectly, anticipate a breathless pause before the sabre clang against glass gives way to a dramatic gush of fizz. You ought to lose no more than an ounce of wine, fair trade for the gallons of accolades poured upon the sabreur who masters this feat.

Laguiole, king of handmade French cutlery and corkscrews, produces a rose handle sabre just for beheading Champagne. Priced as a generous wedding gift, it's the ideal present for a bride and groom to open at the reception, right before it's put to use on the bubbly for the best man's toast. If no one ponies up a gift-wrapped saber, don't reach for great-grandpa's WWI rapier or a faux samurai sword bought at a county fair swap meet. Simply ask the caterer for a heavy blade or any massive knife you'd use to carve a turkey. For the sake of the chef's good manner, turn the honed end around and strike with the back side.

Nice touch: Position two groomsmen: one plays centerfield with a top hat as the other bides with a Champagne flute. The outfielder catches the cork on the fly while the other spares precious drops of bubbly with a glass at the ready.