Yeah, I know, I was just messin'. Most people just roll their eyes when I mention snow fleas.

Black flies en masse are pure hell. You are under personal siege by kamikaze-diving blood-sucking bugs. Mosquitoes are mild and polite by comparison. The more wind the better. Camp on a bald hill if you can.

A 'snow flies' day is variable. I don't mind a good winter storm, mostly. It depends on the wind chill, whether I need to drive in rush hour with crazy people, and whether I have the option of wearing two layers under my dress clothes. Better than black flies by a country mile.

But a 'snow flea' day is glorious. It's close to spring, the snow has consolidated so you can wear tiny snowshoes and tromp around, and the air temperature hovers around zero so you don't even need gloves. Pâté on crackers with a nice Malbec and pleasant female company. Ah, that's the life.