My first thought is to go out like the guy I read about in the paper.

Story says that a woman walked into a police station, placed a 'large caliber handgun' on the desk and reported that she had killed her husband.

Seems he had insisted that she carry the gun for protection. Anyway she comes home early and finds him in bed, at maximum connubial percuspance, with two women. He was facing away from the door. The first he was aware of a problem was when some portion of his brain hit the wall in front of him. As I remember it she shot him in the back of the head and neck area three times. After which she turned herself in at the police station.

By the time the police arrived the two women had fled the scene.

At a superficial level it has a lot going for it. There is, of course, the implicit joke about coming and going. Not necessarily a great joke. Also good odds it was quick and painless. And he was doing something he loved.

It also makes for a very lively, if not necessarily an open-casket, wake and funeral. You can count that your death will be talked about for a great many years and turn you into something of a local celebrity. Granted a posthumous award and infamous way to go but for going out with memorable style and a bang it is high on the list.

On the other hand I really don't think I care if I go out in style and in a way that will go down in local history. And if I'm cheating on my wife I certainly don't want her to end up in jail if she ventilates me while I'm long stroking the alternates. If she plugs me I would prefer the police pat her on the back, wipe away her tears and give her a stern warning about discharging a firearm in city limits. That sounds more like justice to me. But that isn't how the law works.

In the end I think the best i can ask for is to die in a quick and painless manner with a minimum of mess. No broad gestures. No celebrity. No greater theme or message.

Brained by the boom during a ill timed jibe, knocked into the sea where I drown unconscious. Consumed by sharks and crabs the body never recovered. The boat found in good shape sailing on its own. As good a way to go as any I guess.

Being at ground-zero for a nuclear weapon and instantaneously vaporized would also be good. Even if it is dramatic.

Less assured to be quick and painless I was there when a 78 year old man died with his family around him. He played with his grand kids and felt tired. The kids were shuffled out and then with his family around he quietly died. More like drifting off to sleep really. The familial togetherness theme has a lot going for it. As long as it doesn't get too maudlin.