Many thanks.

I am posting in part to firmly admit reality rather than live on that river in Egypt. It is very tempting to just hope to win the lottery, which would be odd because I never play it, but you know what I mean.

My overall strategy is to keep enlarging my personal context beyond money worries. If one thing has become clear it is I have been in a bit of a rut trying to find a mechanical formula for success, and not growing or spontaneously welcoming life's delightful suprises.

Moving or going out of the country seem scary, so I am going to pay more attention to those possibilities because I am starting to think I give fear too big a place in my life. I started to type the next sentence with the words "I am no hero", looking at them I think that could be or should be a lie. I think that's the start of my next meditation.

Make no mistake, though, opening bills you cannot pay and calling creditors has not made the list of my top ten favorite things to do. In my imaginary boardroom where all aspects of myself have a seat I try to keep courage and playfulness close at hand but those darn cowardice, fear, and helpless guys keep trying to take over the conversation.

It REALLY helps to be able to share this with you folks. I thank every one of you who is willing to help with a thought or good wish.

Report: Manteca and Lathrop just south of Stockton are booming as bedroom communitites for folks who commute to the San Francisco Bay area.

Surviving in Stockton.