I'll put my oar in the water here and agree with statements made. Life can suck real hard at times. However, your general frame of mind appears to be rather good. Depression, gloom, anxiety are all part of the puzzle and process. Recognize them for what they are: emotions that are part of the human condition. There is no shame in feeling them. Do not let them control you, just realize they are there.

I believe your walks in solitude as you search for or exercise the spiritual is a very positive move on your part. Wisdom can come in the silence. Additionally, the service to others you are involved with is great. You are stepping outside your circumstance not allowing it to define who you are. In other words, you are not falling into the "I'm a victim" mentality.

Quite honestly, the fact you posted your situation here shows you have a better grasp on it than you may possibly believe. We are honored that you entrusted us with your concern and allow us to stand by your side in this.

I will add you to my prayer list.

GBU