kc2ixe -

+1 on everything you said. Received the same advice (DNR on the 'fridge etc.) when faced with near-identical situation in California earlier this year. Helped to keep things organized and under control, particularly when there are multiple siblings involved.

Related: Unpleasant though it is, when the family member is terminally-ill, good idea early-on to locate and review other documents like wills, trusts (and pour-over will), life insurance policies, deeds, bank account/safe deposit info, durable POA etc. to make sure a) you locate everything, and b) all are legally up to par.

You mentioned hospice. A plug for those folks — they do amazing work.

Dan