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#301236 - 09/10/22 10:44 PM Re: Back after a few years absence [Re: Kris]
Acropolis50 Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 11/20/19
Posts: 54
Thanx Bingley. Iím doing pretty good for age 73. I only just retired, after 45+ years of practicing law and Iím enjoying it. I still practice law ,a little bit, Of Counsel , for the law firm which my son is associated. Gives me a chance to work with him. An unexpected pleasure

I still power walk ( 3 miles , on hilly terrain) with my wife or on an elliptical, 3 days a week. Do a full range of weight machines ( nothing too heavy anymore ) and some Pilates. Both of our stomachs are almost flat and I can still do 40 perfect push-ups!

But,Iím also practical about health issues. So far Iím good. ( Note: He spits on the ground , re-enacting the old Jewish folk tradition to keep off the evil spirits. ) But, Iím at an age when things start to go wrong or just wear out. As long as it is things they can fix and I can continue a full life, I donít get too bent out of shape about them. If itís terminal, I will do my best to arrange the ending as I see fit. No real regrets. and we just had the grandparent experience , for the first time. My wife is fully capable of leading her full life , with me or without me, which is as it should be.

We have made a happy and fully protected life for our handicapped daughter. ( from a traumatic freak accident , during pregnancy.). She is only A few years older than my son. They are very close and he will happily be her guardian when we pass. My daughter is happy, healthy , pretty , upbeat, and doesnít see herself as different. She lives in Group Home which we helped develop and are still active in its admin. as advisors. We still spend a lot of time with her as her home is close to ours. Truth is, we should all be lucky enough to like our lives as much as my daughter likes hers!

My son and Daughter-in-law are a bit of a power couple and both have successful careers, a loving marriage & a beautiful 9 month old daughter ( who has my eyes ). [ Modern Living: They are raising her in 3 languages simultaneously and the baby responds appropriately in all three!]. And they just bought a home which is an 8-10minute drive from our home.

Both my wife and I worked our butts off for many decades. We had many challenges, especially with our daughter and caring for aging parents, as we are both only children. But it drew us closer and , all in all , we have enjoyed a good life. My wifeís earlier career , which she gave up to help our daughter achieve all she could be, was as a Special Education Teacher.

Our retirement is comfortable, not rich , but we lack for nothing we we really want or need. We both worked hard, put our kids first and it shows in the result. We consistently did a substantial amount of what you, would call charity, but we view ( as our religion insists) ďjusticeĒ. It helps that neither my wife or I are into ď thingsĒ , past a certain point of basic comfort. If I have the time and the spirit moves me , maybe Iíll write that book I long been threatening to author. In any event, Iím ready for whatever comes next.


Edited by Acropolis50 (09/10/22 10:50 PM)

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#301237 - 09/10/22 11:56 PM Re: Back after a few years absence [Re: Kris]
dougwalkabout Offline
Crazy Canuck
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 02/03/07
Posts: 3111
Loc: Alberta, Canada
Acropolis, you give an account of a life well and honourably lived. I tip my hat to you sir.

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#301242 - 09/12/22 10:52 PM Re: Back after a few years absence [Re: dougwalkabout]
Acropolis50 Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 11/20/19
Posts: 54
Doug: Thanx so much for the compliment, which I accept, as well, on behalf of my wife . I think the biggest burden fell on her.

I was ďhands-onĒ with the kids ,to the limited extent a busy attorney can be. But in our arrangement, my job was to fund the operations, deal with the State and Federal bureaucracy on benefits issues, bully the School Boards into giving my daughter the benefits ( expensive for them) to which to which she was entitled by law. Straighten out some officious doctors, nurses , hospital administrators on how to serve handicapped surgical and treating patients [ It sometimes is of great value to have the reputation of being a bulldog, locked-jaw attorney, who had no hesitation to go into court for an injunction or go to the press to publicize handicap discrimination.]. And finally to bring together the multiple Local, State , & private charitable actors necessary to get a Group Home approved, financed, built and staffed. It took 7 years. Today ,I think I could do it faster, but that was the first time I tried to do it and I fell on my face a couple of times along the way. Those kind of mistakes teach you quickly, so you donít make them twice, since they are so painful, embarrassing and frustrating.

My wife had the real hands-on , day-too-day interactions,education, & worries. Her day began about 5 am and continued , more or less unabated, until about 8-9pm. And more if someone was sick.

She had to be attuned and inventive. For example, when we learned that our daughter could hear perfectly, but lacked the fine motor control to speak., my wife, drawing on her working experience , taught my daughter and the rest of us to ďspeakĒ in ASL ( American Sign Language ) , simultaneously with speaking in English. Thus, for the first time and for many years, ASL gave my daughter communicative language and interaction with her family, peers, & teachers which she otherwise would have lacked. It even helped to learn to read basic words in English. Then , years later, when my daughterís speech therapy started to yield positive result, my wife banned ASL and forced us all to use only English, initially to my daughterís consternation, so my daughter would regard spoken language as primary. It worked. She also kept track of and paid the household bills, insurances, etc.

Also, I gave you the final results ,which thank heaven ,are terrific. Along the way there was anger at many unfair things, sometimes intolerance with each other, frustration, rough spots caused in our marriage, etc. In other words, all the same crap couples with kids go thru, but WRIT LARGE, on account of having a Special Needs child and ,at times, elderly parents and step- parents who had only us to turn too.

At one time, for about 1.5 years, we had 3 handicapped or challenged kids and adults living in our home, in addition to my son who tho unchallenged , was young at the time.. My wife managed it all, alone , virtually without any outside help, except we did have a cleaning person ,one day a week. My wife looks back fondly on that time ,if u can believe it.

But weíre together after 2 years of living with each other and going on 37 years married. We are still happy with each other. So, I guess we can smile and say weíve done OK so far. But I still think that I had the easier burden to carry.


Edited by Acropolis50 (09/12/22 11:09 PM)

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#301243 - 09/13/22 04:55 AM Re: Back after a few years absence [Re: Kris]
Phaedrus Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 04/28/10
Posts: 3069
Loc: Big Sky Country
It sounds like you've adapted and done well!
_________________________
ďI'd rather have questions that cannot be answered than answers that can't be questioned.Ē óRichard Feynman

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#301244 - 09/13/22 11:23 AM Re: Back after a few years absence [Re: Kris]
chaosmagnet Offline
Sheriff
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 12/03/09
Posts: 3719
Loc: USA
Iím impressed with both of you Acropolis50.

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#301246 - 09/17/22 05:43 PM Re: Back after a few years absence [Re: Bingley]
Kris Offline
Addict

Registered: 04/13/07
Posts: 627
Loc: A Canadian Back in Canada
Thanks!

Being an ex-workaholic, I now spend more time with the people I enjoy being around. Not to say I didnít like the folks I had worked with in the past, however who I would call friends (ex work buddies) now are few.

I do miss working in IT. I tried last year with the expected results.

Some would say itís a life changing event. And for me and my wife it was.

I am a bit more healthier now however I am not at Ďfití levels. But an enjoyable dad body with a lifetime of scars that tell a messed up story ;-)

Have a good evening folks! Cheers and cling a glass of your tipple of choice. Mind will be scotch after the turkey dinner (for no reason then my wife wanted one).
_________________________
"One should not increase, beyond what is necessary, the number of entities required to explain anything"
William of Ockham (1285-1349)

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