In 2011 my fellow amateur writers and I worked on a Star Trek/Doctor Who crossover fanfiction. Since it included Doctor Who, I decided to contribute a science-fiction version of "Who's on First?"

Star Fleet captain, Captain Price, had punched a superior officer after being railroaded in a kangaroo court. Because of the incident, Star Fleet sent two officers with an arrest warrant for Captain Price.

DOS Mihara, an artificial life form who uses holographic technology, receives a strange message from CCC-0, a fellow artificial life form who also uses holographic technology. DOS' interface appears at the headquarters in New York to talk to CCC-0, projection to projection. "Resting on salt and battery chargers? Are you certain you heard right?"

"That is what the officers said." CCC-0 answers.

"Send me an audio clip." The AI who uses the form of a human child in a school uniform receives the audio file. "Oh, Star Fleet is charging Captain Price with two crimes, assault and battery, and they want to arrest him."

The two officers overhear DOS talking with CCC-0 and approach her. "Miss, have you seen Captain Price today?"

"No. I have not." The young AI replies.

"Do you know where he is?"

"He is with the Doctor."

"He's seeing a doctor?"

"Actually, Price is having dinner with him."

"Do you know the doctor's name?"


"You said Captain Price is having dinner with a doctor. What is the doctor's name?"

"Who is the Doctor's name." DOS states.

The officer questioning DOS takes a deep breath. "We can appreciate the fact you are well educated in proper grammar. Who is the doctor's name?"

"That is correct."

"Do you know the doctor's name?"


"Who is the doctor?"


"I mean his name."


"The doctor Captain Price is having dinner with."

"Who is the Doctor!"

"I'm asking you who is the doctor."

"That's the Doctor's name."

"That is who's name?"


"Well go ahead and tell us."

"That's it."

"That's who?"


"Look, is Captain Price having dinner with a doctor?"


"Who is Captain Price with?"

"That's right."

The officer sighs. "Where are your parents?"

"Dad died in an accident Central America. Mom is in Japan."

"Why is your mom in Japan?"

"She lives there."

"Are you visiting the United States?"

"No. I currently reside here."

"Do you have any family living in the United States?"

"Yes. I have a sister, Hikaru."

"How old is she?"

"She is two-years-old."

"What is your name?"


"Could you spell your name?"

"D O S."

"Do those letters stand for something?"


The officer breathes a sigh of relief. "What do the initials D O S stand for?"

"Disk Operating System."

Jeanette Isabelle
“Trust me, this is not gonna end well!” — Pleakley, Lilo & Stitch