Equipped To Survive Equipped To Survive® Presents
The Survival Forum
Where do you want to go on ETS?

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3 >
Topic Options
#240037 - 01/25/12 01:42 AM European views on terror threats.. by John Cleese
Byrd_Huntr Offline
Old Hand

Registered: 01/28/10
Posts: 1174
Loc: MN, Land O' Lakes & Rivers ...
ALERTS TO TERROR THREATS IN 2011 EUROPE
By John Cleese

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist
threats and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to
"Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to
"Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross."

The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea
supplies nearly ran out.

Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody
Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning
level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get
the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they
have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300
years.


The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror
alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France
are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent
fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing
the country's military capability.


Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to
"Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective
Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."


The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance"
to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher
levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."


Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only
threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.


The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy.
These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish
navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.


Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to
"She'll be alright, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I
think we'll need to cancel the Barbie this weekend!" and "The Barbie is
canceled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final
escalation level.
_________________________
The man got the powr but the byrd got the wyng

Top
#240049 - 01/25/12 05:55 AM Re: European views on terror threats.. by John Cleese [Re: Byrd_Huntr]
Tjin Offline
Pooh-Bah

Registered: 04/08/02
Posts: 1821
There are Europeans on this forum, including me. So such form post might be a bit questionable.

It does however confirms the European view of Americans. Australia is on the other side of the world...
_________________________


Top
#240052 - 01/25/12 06:34 AM Re: European views on terror threats.. by John Cleese [Re: Tjin]
Leigh_Ratcliffe Offline
Veteran

Registered: 03/31/06
Posts: 1355
Loc: United Kingdom.
I've always wondered what America would do if it decided to hold a war, sent the UK an invitation RSVP but received a reply to the effect that owing to a prior commitment we are unable to attend.
_________________________
I don't do dumb & helpless.

Top
#240053 - 01/25/12 07:56 AM Re: European views on terror threats.. by John Cleese [Re: Byrd_Huntr]
MostlyHarmless Offline
Old Hand

Registered: 06/03/09
Posts: 982
Loc: Norway
Originally Posted By: Byrd_Huntr
ALERTS TO TERROR THREATS IN 2011 EUROPE
By John Cleese


John Cleese is one of my favourite comedians - but I must say you're a little late to the party. That piece came at least five years ago... whistle


Even more hillarious are his "axis of evil" John Cleese: Axis of evil sarcasm, which came in 2003 or something. I think the threat level thingy came about the same time.... (Warning: He makes jokes about statements from a former president. May be borderline political for some viewers).

About offending Europeans - I personally wouldn't worry much. A European comedian making fun of neighbour countries is pretty much normal. (Due to history, Australia and America are also considered neighbours by the Brits).

Top
#240054 - 01/25/12 08:29 AM Re: European views on terror threats.. by John Cleese [Re: MostlyHarmless]
Paul810 Offline
Veteran

Registered: 03/02/03
Posts: 1428
Loc: NJ, USA
Hearing the name John Cleese inevitably brings about re-runs of Monty Python through my head. grin

http://youtu.be/IqhlQfXUk7w

Top
#240056 - 01/25/12 09:03 AM Re: European views on terror threats.. by John Cleese [Re: Byrd_Huntr]
bigreddog Offline
Enthusiast

Registered: 07/02/06
Posts: 253
Seems about right from this side of the pond. I'm not sure our 'peeved' rating is much less useful than any other rating ;-)

Top
#240060 - 01/25/12 11:17 AM Re: European views on terror threats.. by John Cleese [Re: Byrd_Huntr]
hikermor Offline
Geezer in Chief
Geezer

Registered: 08/26/06
Posts: 7705
Loc: southern Cal
Great humor. I would love to get Cleese's take on regional variations in the USA of the threat level - say California vs Texas...
_________________________
Geezer in Chief

Top
#240061 - 01/25/12 11:28 AM Re: European views on terror threats.. by John Cleese [Re: Byrd_Huntr]
quick_joey_small Offline
Addict

Registered: 01/13/09
Posts: 574
Loc: UK
The perfect european:

http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=http://www.erothitan.com/press_info/images/the_perfect_european.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.erothitan.com/press_info/2002-10-28_the_perfect_european_en.html&h=600&w=870&sz=89&tbnid=RDHdWeoToYbT_M:&tbnh=84&tbnw=122&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dperfect%2Beuropean%26tbm%3Disch%26tbo%3Du&zoom=1&q=perfect+european&docid=hh67nit2HV0KqM&hl=en&sa=X&ei=r-QfT6aAB4eCOvHHuK0O&ved=0CDYQ9QEwAQ&dur=658

any suggestions for 'as ... as an american'?
canadian?
japanese?
etc

qjs

Image fix


Edited by NightHiker (01/25/12 06:14 PM)
Edit Reason: image fix

Top
#240063 - 01/25/12 01:31 PM Re: European views on terror threats.. by John Cleese [Re: Leigh_Ratcliffe]
Byrd_Huntr Offline
Old Hand

Registered: 01/28/10
Posts: 1174
Loc: MN, Land O' Lakes & Rivers ...
Originally Posted By: Leigh_Ratcliffe
I've always wondered what America would do if it decided to hold a war, sent the UK an invitation RSVP but received a reply to the effect that owing to a prior commitment we are unable to attend.


Why would you want to do that? We've been allies for most of the last 400 years. To quote a piece in Wikipedia:

"The United States is bound to Britain by shared history, a common language and legal system, culture, and kindred, ancestral lines in English Americans, Scottish Americans, and Welsh Americans, which can be traced back hundreds of years."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_Kingdom%E2%80%93United_States_relations

A lot of the above is true of many other countries around the world.

IMO, what really needs to happen is the elimination of massive wars in favor of limited tactical special ops actions.
_________________________
The man got the powr but the byrd got the wyng

Top
#240064 - 01/25/12 01:43 PM Re: European views on terror threats.. by John Cleese [Re: Tjin]
Byrd_Huntr Offline
Old Hand

Registered: 01/28/10
Posts: 1174
Loc: MN, Land O' Lakes & Rivers ...
Originally Posted By: Tjin
There are Europeans on this forum, including me. So such form post might be a bit questionable.

It does however confirms the European view of Americans. Australia is on the other side of the world...


Wow! Good thing I didn't post any Benny Hill jokes.... eek
_________________________
The man got the powr but the byrd got the wyng

Top
Page 1 of 3 1 2 3 >



Moderator:  Alan_Romania, Blast, chaosmagnet, cliff 
May
Su M Tu W Th F Sa
1 2 3 4
5 6 7 8 9 10 11
12 13 14 15 16 17 18
19 20 21 22 23 24 25
26 27 28 29 30 31
Who's Online
0 registered (), 253 Guests and 13 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Explorer9, GallenR, Jeebo, NicholasMarshall, Yadav
5368 Registered Users
Newest Posts
Recent Signal Mirror Successes - more wanted
by rafowell
05/26/24 09:10 PM
Hoover Stew
by dougwalkabout
05/26/24 03:03 AM
Silver
by Jeanette_Isabelle
05/23/24 06:24 PM
New Madrid Seismic Zone
by Jeanette_Isabelle
05/17/24 03:49 PM
EDC Reduction
by Jeanette_Isabelle
05/16/24 07:59 PM
Any shortages where you are?
by adam2
05/16/24 09:49 AM
Bird Flu (H5N1) found in cattle -- are Humans next
by dougwalkabout
05/10/24 01:28 AM
My Doug Ritter Folder Attacked Me!
by dougwalkabout
05/04/24 02:30 AM
Newest Images
Tiny knife / wrench
Handmade knives
2"x2" Glass Signal Mirror, Retroreflective Mesh
Trade School Tool Kit
My Pocket Kit
Glossary
Test

WARNING & DISCLAIMER: SELECT AND USE OUTDOORS AND SURVIVAL EQUIPMENT, SUPPLIES AND TECHNIQUES AT YOUR OWN RISK. Information posted on this forum is not reviewed for accuracy and may not be reliable, use at your own risk. Please review the full WARNING & DISCLAIMER about information on this site.