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#143002 - 08/06/08 06:35 AM Re: Starting over, looking for adventure, etc.? [Re: BobS]
comms Offline

Registered: 07/23/08
Posts: 1502
Loc: Mesa, AZ
Originally Posted By: BobS
I have been holding on to the dream of a rich super model not being able to live without me in her life for longer then 5-years.

Still waiting for that knock on the door…

There's a little extra ingredient for the quote to work. Capacity.

For example, you can want to run a bank, but if you've bagged grocery's for five years and didn't graduate from college, you've got a pretty slim chance of it coming to pass.

I know your just joshing. But hey maybe, just maybe, someone you think is attractive, secretly thinks you are too. Just sayin'...
Don't just survive. Thrive.

#143065 - 08/06/08 07:48 PM Re: Starting over, looking for adventure, etc.? [Re: dweste]
Andy Offline

Registered: 09/13/07
Posts: 378
Loc: SE PA
Good luck to you as you move both forward and in a new direction. To so completely change your life takes a lot of courage.

My younger brother did a similar thing a few years ago. He left all things familiar behind, many of which were good and rewarding, and took a giant leap of faith. He decided to move to China and become a teacher of English to Chinese college students. He had never been there before, did not speak a word of Chinese and had never taught before.

But he was unattached and had always been curious and adventuresome (he had spent a summer in Uganda as a teenager during the time of Idi Amin, not sure what our parents were thinking at the time). So he went for it. His regular letters from Beijing were turned into a book and now an audio book. To listen go here . The downloads are free and are PG rated. Let me know what you think and please leave comments at the site.

Blast, I think you'll appreciate the descriptions of daily life.

In a crisis one does not rise to one's level of expectations but rather falls to one's level of training.

#143071 - 08/06/08 08:38 PM Re: Starting over, looking for adventure, etc.? [Re: Andy]
Dan_McI Offline
Old Hand

Registered: 12/10/07
Posts: 844
Loc: NYC
I'm no where near the changes you are contemplating dweste, but some of my own have been thrust upon me this week. Money is not really an issue, but earning some in the near and distant future might be needed to maintain some independence and maybe to bolster my ego, we'll see. The firm at which I have been working and I are parting ways. The one thing I know I need to do and keep doing is getting my butt up and trying to achieve something each day. The very good news is that on my way out some pretty good work I've done has come to some fruition. That feels good.

But it's now time to move onto new things, and for now, I'm going to try and make those things completely different things from what they have been in the past. I've had two careers so far, and maybe it is time for a third or maybe a third and fourth.

#143075 - 08/06/08 09:46 PM Re: Starting over, looking for adventure, etc.? [Re: Dan_McI]
dweste Offline

Registered: 02/16/08
Posts: 2463
Loc: Central California
Go get 'em, Dan_Mcl!

It would be interesting to hear about your "starting over" from time to time.

#143078 - 08/06/08 10:01 PM Re: Starting over, looking for adventure, etc.? [Re: dweste]
dweste Offline

Registered: 02/16/08
Posts: 2463
Loc: Central California
One of the local pillars of our profession [he has all the awards, scholarships and rooms named in his honor, etc,] called and took me to lunch today. He wanted me to know that everyone missed my contributions, formal and informal, and wanted to convey their respects. He relayed his concern and that of a number of peers that I had not been seen around.

I was suprised that anyone noticed or cared. More work to do on the old self-esteem, I guess.

He offered to be a confidential sounding-board on whatever I would like to talk about. I gave him a few details and an overview of my experiences over the last year or so. His comment, "Jeez, you've been hammered! No wonder all those disappointments hit you so hard."

We talked about some of the practical challenges and what I decided to do about them. He shared that some of them are why he decided to retire, too.

It was nice to get assurance I was not the Lone Ranger and that I had the respect of at least some peers for whom I, in turn, had respect.

#143098 - 08/07/08 12:15 AM Re: Starting over, looking for adventure, etc.? [Re: dweste]
Blast Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 07/15/02
Posts: 3561
Loc: Spring, Texas
It was nice to get assurance I was not the Lone Ranger and that I had the respect of at least some peers for whom I, in turn, had respect.

Why am I not the least bit suprised that you are well respected? You should be proud.

-Blast, who settles for feared
Blogging the Borderlands
Wild Edibles Blog
I miss OBG.

#143101 - 08/07/08 12:59 AM Re: Starting over, looking for adventure, etc.? [Re: dweste]
Jeff_M Offline

Registered: 07/18/07
Posts: 665
Loc: Northwest Florida
Originally Posted By: dweste
(snip)How about you? Getting the adventure, happiness, and freedom you were expecting? How about your loved ones? If not, what should be done about it?

A lot of people wonder why I still work as a firefighter/paramedic since I graduated with honors from law school and theoretically could have gotten a much more lucrative job working for some downtown law firm.

Well, the answer is I'm already doing pretty much exactly what I've always wanted to do. I love my job. I do have a “boutique” law practice on the side, since I work 24 hrs on/48 hrs off at the fire department and I have the spare time. I've found out that I'm just not cut out to work in an office all day, every day. Money is also not a big motivator for me anymore. My $60K or so salary is enough, combined with my practice and all my side jobs, like teaching, consulting, and disaster response, to provide a comfortable lifestyle. I'll probably retire early, take my generous pension, and then practice full time.

I liked practicing law at a big firm well enough when I got a taste of it. But I didn't really enjoy representing banks, insurance companies, and other “big guys.” I also didn't get off chasing the almighty dollar. Moreover, I didn't like working under a boss, even a good one, or taking up I cause I don't believe is morally right.

Now, I am my own boss in my little specialty practice, and while I can't afford much, I can afford to choose who I will or won't represent. So I get to help out a lot of nurses, doctors, cops, firefighters, and military folks with their problems, and I don't have to screw over anybody who doesn't deserve it. I sometimes get a whiff from the big-time lawyers that they look down on me, which makes beating their asses all the more rewarding, and I just think to myself “yeah, buddy. How many people did you help, really help, in the last month or so.”

I feel free, and in control of my own destiny. I think I'm making a positive contribution with my life, and my conscience is clear. Mine is a pretty adventurous job, and offers quite a bit of excitement. Likewise, I like being a federal disaster responder, and have had some real adventures there, too, that's for sure. I also enjoy helping people in my law practice. Maybe I'm just lucky. But I think the secret, if there is one, is to find a job that is intrinsically rewarding and interesting to you, apart from the money and benefits. We spend far too much of our lives working to do it just for the money.

Just my $0.02


#143115 - 08/07/08 01:51 AM Re: Starting over, looking for adventure, etc.? [Re: Jeff_M]
dougwalkabout Offline
Crazy Canuck
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 02/03/07
Posts: 2719
Loc: Alberta, Canada
Jeff, well said, and well done. Raising a glass of red to you ...

#143124 - 08/07/08 03:03 AM Re: Starting over, looking for adventure, etc.? [Re: dweste]
dougwalkabout Offline
Crazy Canuck
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 02/03/07
Posts: 2719
Loc: Alberta, Canada
I only know you a little, but I trust my gut feeling, and I'm not surprised at this one bit. Even on this anonymous forum, you convey the gravity and substance of someone who has accomplished a great deal more than he lets on to.

When you hear words of interest and concern from the network of people who know you much better, I think you should take them at their word. If they wanted you to go away, they wouldn't have called. So keep that up your sleeve, a psychological ace you can play when you need it.

#143135 - 08/07/08 04:37 AM Re: Starting over, looking for adventure, etc.? [Re: dougwalkabout]
clarktx Offline

Registered: 07/01/08
Posts: 250
Loc: Houston, Texas

Your concerns are so palpable and real to me. My business failed and I had 6 digits in personal exposure. A lot of it was caused by things that I couldn't have known. Its amazing what combinations of crapola the powers that be can throw at you, much of which is most accessible to you as a pdf on their computer (read: not very). I won't go into details, but things are WAAAY more complicated for the modern businessman than ever before.

My experience was really nasty and affected me quite badly. I had some similar thoughts and observations to what you are having. I wish you the best.

Now, looking back on it 5 years later, it was a fantastic learning experience. I'm glad its over.

One quote I found helpful is one that is very famous, and you've probably heard before. But I'll say it anyway. As Winston Churchill once said... "When you are going through hell, keep Going."

I kept going. I live a much more peaceful life now. I have 4 kids. I no longer am wholly responsible for my own income. I have a much lower paying job which affords me massive flexibility (I am the only employee of this company in the united states). I adventure way more often than I used to (thanks blast), and I will finish my chicken coop tomorrow.

Its impossible for me to paint the picture in a few words, but I think you get it.

You can be the pheonix, too. And you will be happier for it. Keep going.

Edited by clarktx (08/07/08 04:38 AM)
Edit Reason: unclear
You can't teach experience.

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