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#131037 - 04/25/08 12:42 AM Facing foreclosure
dweste Offline

Registered: 02/16/08
Posts: 2463
Loc: Central California
Stockton CA is the foreclosure capital of the country. Last stats were 1 of 19 homes in foreclosure and 2 or 3 more of 19 in default. That was a month or two back and its supposedly gotten a bit worse.

My clients / customers are losing jobs, businesses are closing, and collecting for my work is a problem. I have let all my staff go and closed my office to work out of my home. I have not renewed a subscription in a year. Utility use is minmized. I do not eat at restaurants much anymore.

Looks like that may not be enough. There are some bills I have left unopened for a while.

So, I have walked around and said goodbye to all my stuff. Except for the cat and some family momentos I try not to let my stuff own me.

Still a challenge to deal with negative feelings.

I own this problem and will survive however it comes out. I am not asking for financial advice. What I would welcome is some thoughts on positive attitude adjustment.


#131042 - 04/25/08 01:39 AM Re: Facing foreclosure [Re: dweste]
BobS Offline
Old Hand

Registered: 02/08/08
Posts: 924
Loc: Toledo Ohio
This is going to sound cold, but I donít think the government should bail people out of this problem, let market forces handle it. Maybe these people should not have gotten approved for the loans in the first place.

Houses have been over priced for years. Lots of people bought homes with inflated prices. The market is now correcting this, we donít need the government getting involved and making a bad problem worst. After all, how many times has the government really fixed any money problem? Never

And many people should have not have gotten the loans in the first place, they should have stayed in a rental or kept the old house. My X-wife is a good example; she bought a home with income based on her present husbandís overtime paychecks. Now heís not working overtime any more. They took a $20,000 income loss with the overtime income gone. It would have been better for them to bank that 20,000 per year (for the 2 Ĺ years, $50,000) use it for a down payment and buy a home more in line with the pay from a normal 40-hour paycheck. They are having trouble keeping their home.

My brother works for UPS, for the last 3-years heís been working overtime almost every week. He saved the money, he drove his old car a while longer. He just bought a new travel trailer (paid cash) and is going to buy a new GM HHR and pay for most of it cash. If his overtime income goes away, itís not going to kill him.

More people need to learn to save and get away from the idea that I need it all right now, even if they donít have the money, they still want it now and will finance everything.

A good survival thing is to have as much of your things paid for as you can.

You can run, but you'll only die tired.

#131043 - 04/25/08 01:42 AM Re: Facing foreclosure [Re: dweste]
NIM Offline

Registered: 02/12/03
Posts: 128
My heart goes out to you. If things continue more may be in the same boat.

Here is some hints I can give (that helped me through tough times):

1) Don't compare yourself to others. People will always be better off or worse off. Just deal with your own situation.

2) Take a deep breath in and be in the present. Don't live in the bleak futures you may imagine. Don't look back with regrets on the past (learn from it and move on) Live in the now. Right now you likely aren't in grave danger or starving to death. Practice living in the now at all times.

3) Realize that the entire monetary system is designed to enslave (in my opinion). Even if you do everything right financially remember that the system is designed to make you fall. Don't buy in to the system. There is more debt then can ever be repaid.

4) Realize that it is ok to be upset and that this emotion will pass. Don't feed the depression but don't beat yourself up. Give it some time to adjust.

5) Live like you have a 20% chance of dying tomorrow (not cumulative). If today could be your last day on Earth what would you do, what would you like to see or taste one last time, who would you call? On most people's deathbed the usually don't say" Gee I wish I had another day to work, so I could have a bit of money in the bank account. Or I wish I had been a bit more frugal."

6.5) Don't take things too seriously. Be able to laugh at yourself.

6) Steal some time to find something bigger than yourself. Meditate or if you believe in God talk to him/her/it.

7) Give yourself positive mental statements. Eventually you will start to believe them. This can also be really funny.

I've got faith in humanity. I think we'll shake this creeping evil off. Go easy on yourself.

8) Get lots of sleep!

Speaking of which....

#131047 - 04/25/08 02:56 AM Re: Facing foreclosure [Re: dweste]
Blast Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 07/15/02
Posts: 3561
Loc: Spring, Texas


You are part of the ETS family which means you are stuck with us. Of course, this also means we'll stick by you.

Blogging the Borderlands
Wild Edibles Blog
I miss OBG.

#131055 - 04/25/08 03:42 AM Re: Facing foreclosure [Re: Blast]
dweste Offline

Registered: 02/16/08
Posts: 2463
Loc: Central California
Thanks guys.

I really didn't see this coming. I do not have an adjustable rate mortgage and have "owned" the home for going on 12 years.

This is probably going to turn into a down-sizing exercise. I am planning as best I can to simplify and reduce where it makes sense aand to invest more where it could make a difference.

My activiies in the last few months have included increased participation in community and in survival learning through a regional park system that is largely free. I am helping grow a tracking /survival skills club and Yahoo group. I have added walking meditation in reltively wild outdoor locations with an emphasis on relaxed and deep connection to the spritual.

It all helps.

I think this is an opportunity for some re-invention of how I invest my time. Working harder has not turned out to be working smarter.

For all that I think the Creator is gently insisting I learn some lessons. Hope I can let ego go enough to be a good student.

Edited by dweste (04/25/08 03:44 AM)

#131062 - 04/25/08 04:22 AM Re: Facing foreclosure [Re: dweste]
Art_in_FL Offline

Registered: 09/01/07
Posts: 2432
If you have been in the house for 12years it isn't a new home. IF they boot you out the mortgage holders are going to be stuck with an older home in a lousy market.

There is a very good chance if you move out it will remain unoccupied for an extended time and be very subject to deterioration, vandalism and squatters. They could find themselves watching the property plummet in value. Approaching zero if the place goes too far down or burns.

It often makes more sense for the mortgage holder to accept a lesser payment, something the people can afford, just to keep someone in the house and protect their investment.

This may be a good time to renegotiate your payments and rates. While a completely restructured long-term mortgage might serve both sides. But even a temporary respite of six months or a year could also benefit both sides. They could negotiate keeping you in place for six months to a year, protect their investment in hard times, and see if they think they can go for blood in a better market later or with you if your situation turns around.

#131065 - 04/25/08 05:36 AM Re: Facing foreclosure [Re: Art_in_FL]
dougwalkabout Offline
Crazy Canuck
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 02/03/07
Posts: 2734
Loc: Alberta, Canada
dweste, that is a hard, hard thing to face. My heart goes out to you. I'm glad you could share it here.

Despite your situation, I think you've done a lot of things right on the personal side. First, you've resolved to survive. Bravo on that - everything else flows from that decision. You've also decided that you have opportunities for personal learning and growth, and that you can add value to the world through community involvement. Bravo again.

I especially appreciate the wisdom of your decision to carry out "walking meditation" and seek peace and focus and a spiritual connection this way. This has seen me through many a dark and stressful time, for I know I will pare life to its essentials and remember who I am at my core. And then, I am a bit more equal to all the petty and pressing details of the outside world. So, bravo three times. You may have lost much, but you have gained much also.


FWIW: on the financial side, I think you're only sunk when you stop trying to swim. I suggest you be proactive and do what you can to mitigate the damage to your credit rating. With a deluge like this, I suspect creditors will sort their files into three piles: (1) those who paid in full, (2) those who were sincere and really tried, and (3) those who walked away without a word. If you can't be in the #1 pile, send letters and negotiate percentage payments so you stay in the #2 pile. It may seem futile now, but in the coming years, as you rebuild your credit rating, these actions will tip the balance in your favour. The #3 folks won't get the time of day for a long, long while.


Good luck to you!

#131071 - 04/25/08 10:11 AM Re: Facing foreclosure [Re: dweste]
ironraven Offline
Cranky Geek
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 09/08/05
Posts: 4642
Loc: Vermont
You're attitude is already pretty positive sounding, all things considered. If you were super perky and jumping about with joy, I'd be worried.

This is a kick in the guts, no doubt about it. So curl around that foot, hang on, and try to tear the sucker's leg off so you can beat him with it. smile

When a man dare not speak without malice for fear of giving insult, that is when truth starts to die. Truth is the truest freedom.

#131072 - 04/25/08 10:50 AM Re: Facing foreclosure [Re: dweste]
AROTC Offline

Registered: 05/06/04
Posts: 604
Loc: Manhattan
A few quotes from Rudyard Kipling's "If":

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same...

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools...

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss...

One of the things my dad tells me is that some of the worst things that ever happened to him were actually the best. He was able to take a different path and see later how much less happy he would have been had things worked out the way he wanted at the time.

And in Zen; mistakes, losses and failures are seen only as guides showing what the correct path should be. We need to learn to treat these as neutral lessons. The goal is to simply learn from them and move on. While its natural for there to be anger, frustration and even mild depression, don't take this set back too dearly to heart or focus too much emotion on it.

Perhaps now is time to make a major change in life, if you've considered living somewhere else, or doing a radically different job, now maybe the time to do it. Finally from "Fight Club", "Its only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything."
A gentleman should always be able to break his fast in the manner of a gentleman where so ever he may find himself.--Good Omens

#131080 - 04/25/08 12:04 PM Re: Facing foreclosure [Re: dweste]
benjammin Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 02/06/04
Posts: 4020
Loc: Anchorage AK
If you have marketable skills, and I am guessing you do if you've been running your own business, you might consider working abroad for a bit. By being mobile, you can command a higher premium, and not all areas are hit like where you are presently. Despite what's been going on, there's still tons of work to be had. It is a burden, to be sure, but also a way to effectively neutralize the localized frailities to our economy. Denver's job market for skilled labor is doing really quite well right now.

You've just got to be willing to do something different to change the odds is all. No financial advice, just a good strategy for any career. You use what resources you have and go where the work is. If you have to button up the house for a while, at least you won't lose anything more.

Good luck to you. I'll pray for a good outcome for ya.
The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools.
-- Herbert Spencer, English Philosopher (1820-1903)

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