How do you guys find happiness in life?

Does the job bring happiness?

Does personal relationship with your spouse give you happiness?

I am curious.

Easy... My wife. Every day I get to wake up with her and fall asleep with her. Without her I wouldn't be the person I am today. I have only one person to thank for that, and thats her.

As for my job... every day is one day closer to retirement.

I tend to operate under the assumption that you don't find it, it finds you. If I do the right things and treat people well and love my family then I'll be happy with myself and general happiness will insue.

But to put a finer point on it:

My family, especially my kids, give me joy.
My work provides satisfaction and worth (spiritual and monetary).
My home provides comfort and well-being (and an endless source of stuff to fix, which I like to do so that brings its own positive feelings)
My friends, colleagues, neighbors, school chums, clients, store clerks, car mechanics, first responders, members of the military, et al, provide companionship, support, conversation, good memories, and service. In other words they provide the things that make life both fun and possible.
My countrymen and women proffer solidarity in times of crisis be it national or local.
My elected leaders provoke, entertain, frustrate and occasionally pleasantly surprise me.
The folks on this forum educate and encourage me to prepare better, think smarter and open my eyes and mind to new ideas.
My beloved Fightin' Irish, sigh....

All the other crappy stuff in my life, like bad drivers, rude people, closed minded, prejudiced lunks, Linux, etc., etc., is just that crap and I try my best to deal with it, ignore it or flush it.

I am I giddy everyday? Hell no. But when I kiss my wife or hug my mom or take that collect call from a DD Ihaven't seen in months, am I happy? Damn straight.

Sounds about right.

Another thing to first consider is what do you define as happiness.

...and on yet another note, remember that money can not buy happiness (it rents it).

right now, when I'm not in pain, I'm pretty happy (being sick sucks)

Me too. Marrying the gal who had been my best friend for ten years (and divorcing the wife from hell), gave me a new lease on life...

Part of that depends on what makes you happy. Personally, I'm not looking for much.

-to have the companionship of close friends (which includes some of my family; blood might be thicker than water, but I know which one I want in a glass), and for them to have happiness
-to be respected by my peers
-to have control over my own destiny
-to have my works be not only successful but remembered
-to be safe from the stupidity, ignorance, fear and greed of those who can't or won't see any path but their own
-to have someplace warm to sleep, something hot to eat, and to be healthy
-to have the chance to share these basic happinesses with others, even those whom I might not like very much

It seems there is no such thing as happiness, only occasional seemingly random and not altogether unpleasant interruptive deviations from the otherwise incessant mindlessness of receiving logic-based sensory input. But,...I do believe. I hope,...I think,...or something.

By watching the Patriots beat the Colts. Cold beer. Seeing the Sox win the Series, again. Having a wonderful GF helps too.

By faith,

There's nothing special about my life or what I do. I have little ambition to rule the world, or to have my name carved into the history books for an eon or more. My perspective is often quite disproportionate to the real impact I have on this world, because it is in our nature to be self-focused.

Life is too often taken for granted. Just because so many have shared it, it seems of less value taken as a whole, and each individual seems to have such insignificant impact that one would think it wholly negligible.

The fact of the matter is, life is a subscription, a serial storytelling event. Think of your favorite book, or tv series. Each flip of the page brought new intrigue, building upon the previous, connecting a line of interest that, though finite, seems to endure long after the book is done. Being in the moment, we may not see it for what it is. It is a most personal gift to each of us, something that we alone possess, for better or worse, but always and forever to remain exclusively ours. Yes, sometimes our moments involve interaction, but still the experience, the essence of what we see, hear, feel, think, belongs just to ourselves. It is our perspective that makes each and every mundane moment in our pitiful lives unique and exhilerating.

I've been through enough, as I am certain so many of us here have likewise, that I know so long as I am taking breath, I have the opportunity to continue the experience of this most wonderous gift. From the hospital gurney, to the running for your life, to the birth of my children, to the death of my dearest friends and family, nothing about any of it is particularly different from what millions of others have gone through, and will continue to go through. What is different is how I choose to evaluate the experience; to process it, to recall it over and over, with all it's thrills, terror, and joy.

Having gone through what I think are enough extremes in life now to be able to sit afterwards and really contemplate what happened, it's occurred to me that, while there is a definite contrast between the ability to recall extreme moments from the less eventful, if I focus well enough, I can still remember a lot of really mundane times as well. The next big leap, then is to realize that each of those moments has the same time-weighted value, and I have only a finite number, so then those that are to come, regardless of their intensity, all have value. Once spent, they are gone, so exchanging moments in time for memories is the economy of my life.

Happiness, therefore, in any given moment depends almost entirely on how I choose to value each one. For better or worse, each moment spends roughly the same, so if I am to get the highest yield from the commodity of my life, then I should treasure each moment. I should invest into it my greatest interest, even for those that are idle, those that are thoroughly disgusting, those that are full of rage, fear, or bliss.

I am reminded of the end of the movie "American Beauty", after Kevin Spacey's character is killed off, where he comments about having nothing but gratitude for every single moment of his stupid little life.

It really doesn't matter so much what you do, where you go, who you are with. In the end, it is all about whether you choose to value the moment, or not.

IF
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!
--Rudyard Kipling

My family and friends
Sitting on the beach soaking in the sounds, smells and beauty of the ocean
Looking up at the stars and thinking about the vastness and beauty of the universe
A beautiful sunrise or sunset
Helping people
A successful rescue
The smile and laughter of children having fun
The happiness of others

A bottle of Coke: One of the most rewarding experiences I have ever had in my life occurred a few years ago during one of my trips to Ecuador. We had traveled to the far north almost into Columbia to a very remote town in the Mountains called TumbaTu (spelling is close) to provide some basic health care. These people are amongst the poorest of the poor. Most of the patients really did not have much wrong with them, mainly desiring to meet these foreign health care providers who traveled to their remote town. One of my patients was an elderly lady, whose primary issues were just general problems connected to that of old age, combined with poor nutrition and arthritis. I gave her some vitamins, Tylenol and likely more important a listening ear for a while. She left and I went on to see other patients not really giving her another thought. This area of Ecuador is very hot, arid and desert like, so it is easy to become thirsty. About 30 minutes later, knowing we might be thirsty the older lady returned to the clinic with a bottle of Coke for the group. We protested at first, knowing that single bottle of Coke was likely an entire day’s salary for her, but then graciously accepted her gift, knowing the great sacrifice she made. Although I sort of always knew what is important in life, at that very moment I witnessed; it is not things that makes one happy, but the love, sacrifice and care we show each other illustrated in that simple gift of a bottle of Coke.

Pete

To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of the women!

Buddhism.

Zen

Fantastic story, paramedicpete - thanks for sharing that one.

It is everywhere.
The sun rising.
The birds singing.
A job to go to and get paid.
Family, Friends, strangers especially little kids (nothing creepy)
Music, Food, drink, art, faith
fishing, skiing, climbing, running
The feeling when you do a good deed no matter how small for a stranger.
Seeing something new. Learning something new.
Being involved and present.
Appreciating what you DO have.
A new pocket knife.
An old three legged cat (my neighbor's) who is my friend.
Catching a cool movie on free TV by accident when you have nothing particular to do at the time.
As you can see the list is endless; it is all there to make you happy if you want.
Good luck on your path. Keep going.
Bill

I think we have to define happiness here. As for me I have moments of happiness but it doesn't last. Even if everything went perfectly in your life, having people who clearly suffer around you breaks your happiness. So it's very hard to maintain a state of happiness. Blaise Pascal said "Man's greatness lies in his capacity to recognize his wretchedness" and I think I have to agree with this. You also can never predict what is going to happen. You can loose everything very quickly. In fact when somebody ask me "how are you?" Many times I look at my wristwatch and answer "at 9:03 pm (for example), I'm not bad..." because I don't know if everything will go wrong in 5 min from there.

Frankie

My question to you would be what makes you unhappy?

I guess you should look at the things in life that matter, that you appreciate.

The answer to happiness lies within yourself.

Myself, personally, am happy to be Alive and Healthy. TG.

What do you feel you need to make you happy?

Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so.

So simple, a child can sing it, but so profound, the greatest minds in history are unable to fully grasp it.

Don't presume what makes you happy will make someone else happy. In fact, it might have the opposite effect.

Here's an example.

I have a point of view on religion that is not in any way compatible with the point of view of other people I have met. Yet, I can see that their religion makes them happy. For some reason, this happiness they experience compels them to bang on my door and tell me how happy I could be if I adopt their religion because it makes THEM happy.

That makes me very, very, very unhappy.

What eventually made ME happy about this whole encounter was that once they came knocking on my door and my wife used a particular combination of words that caused the color to drain from the faces of our persistent visitors, followed by a hasty, and apparently permanent, retreat. We've not seen them again for several years.

I am reminded, by this encounter, that the golden rule - "Do unto others as they would do unto you" is utter nonsense.

You see, that's the point - happiness is subjective, and "the golden rule" is not an effective guide to attaining it in any way, because what I want and what you want aren't the same and, at a global scale, we can't agree on a religion or philosophy that might serve as an objective standard by which we can run our lives and "attain happiness."

Hmm, I would say that religiously speaking you are correct, but philosophically you have set the limit too short.

IMHO, if we can at least agree that we are entitled to the same pursuits of happiness as anyone else is, then we share at least one common philosophical aspect, which is that we are both free to pursue whatever it is that makes us happy so long as such pursuit doesn't impinge on the rights of others. I'll admit it is a balancing act most of the time, but I don't really see any good alternative.

Based on the notions that form our bill of rights, unless you are truly opposed to the American way of life, I'd say we share a common philosophy at least about social happiness, if not spiritual. Sadly, I too have fallen victim to certain religious practices that tend to interfere with my happiness at times. There are remedies, both personal and social, for this sort of action, and it seems you have effectively availed yourself of one method.

Muslim culture in this country is vastly different in it's evangelistic approach. Conversion by holding a knife to the throat is simply unacceptable here, unlike other places.

Religion often times comes into conflict with individual rights. It is a difficult thing for most communities to allow non-conformity to persist amongst a minority when the majority share common beliefs and practices. The word infidel, heathen or heretic carry with them the connotation of unacceptance that usually result in expulsion or punitive acts in the majority of world history. Ours is one of the best examples of a society of tolerance on record, yet we still struggle to abide those practices most foreign from our own mainstream christian lifestyles.

Before we get too serious on the religion aspect…


… that cracked me up!

No, then we can't agree. Here is a list of things that make me happy, and don't affect anyone else. Of these things I have pursued, all of which have been, at one time or another, or currently are, illegal, somewhere on the earth.

1. When I'm home and not driving anywhere, I like to drink a beer now and then.
2. I like to shoot a gun in my back yard into my bermed, safe, range.
3. I've read The Catcher In the Rye (Saliger), Slaughterhouse 5 (Vonnegut), Lolita (Nabikov) and the Quran and the King James revision of the Bible.
4. I had consensual sex before I was married.
5. I have gambled.
6. I have carried a lock-back pocket knife on an airplane post 2001.
7. I have made copies of DVD's I own.
8. I have dug holes on my property without seeking a permit.
9. I have hunted on my property on a Sunday
10. I have transported raw milk for my own consumption into the state of New York.
11. I have seen pornographic images.
12. I have driven a vehicle with an expired inspection.
13. I raise and slaughter my own poultry on my own property.
14. I have lived with a woman without being married.
15. I have friends who are openly homosexual.
16. I have failed to pave the first 24 feet of my second driveway.

...the list goes on an on...the litany of "victimless crimes" that are created because one person's pursuit of happiness does not meet some other standard of ethics or expectations goes on and on and on. 'm not even going to digg deep into the clear and obvious influence of religion and business interests on government other than the posit that any law based on aligning behavior to the rulebooks of any one organization is suspect, because in the end, another organization will have a differing view and conflict will arise.

So what was the Combination of words? This phrase might make me happy

Is unpasteurised milk smuggling illegal in New York State?

Wow, whats the criminal tariff if caught smuggling this prohibitive substance into the State of New York? Is it like the situation with cannabis in the UK. If you can prove, having been caught with enough only for your only personal consuption, then you can avoid a criminal prosecution.

Gee, I hope the Feds aren't listening in

Man I missed five items on your list. Does that make me better, or less?
1. When I'm home and not driving anywhere, I like to drink a beer now and then. Check
2. I like to shoot a gun in my back yard into my bermed, safe, range. Check
3. I've read The Catcher In the Rye (Saliger), Slaughterhouse 5 (Vonnegut), Lolita (Nabikov) and the Quran and the King James revision of the Bible.Check, not at the same time
4. I had consensual sex before I was married. Check
5. I have gambled. Check
6. I have carried a lock-back pocket knife on an airplane post 2001. Check
7. I have made copies of DVD's I own. CD's yes, DVD's no.
8. I have dug holes on my property without seeking a permit. Check
9. I have hunted on my property on a Sunday. Nope
10. I have transported raw milk for my own consumption into the state of New York. Don't drive in NY
11. I have seen pornographic images. Check
12. I have driven a vehicle with an expired inspection. Hmmm, I don't recall
13. I raise and slaughter my own poultry on my own property. That was Mom
14. I have lived with a woman without being married. Check
15. I have friends who are openly homosexual. Oh, come on, this is CA, Check
16. I have failed to pave the first 24 feet of my second driveway. Pave? Why? Check

Who decides if it impringes on the rights of others? The one doing the act? The "impringed" person? A third party? The courts? The religious authorities? Trial by combat?

This is the problem. The sentiment sounds and is a good one. Implementing it is tough. Who decides? And where and from who do they get the criteria for their decision?

I am getting closer to Buddhism in many ways, I don't think I can take the full journey, however, I like that basic ideas about reason and faith that come with it. I've always been fond of the basic premise that if something comes along that proves what you believe is wrong, then you need to change what you believe.

Maybe that's what makes me happy. Accepting what is.

Hmm,

On the surface of it, most of the rules you cite do seem a bit too restrictive. Certainly those not directly associated with a specific action, such as who your friends are, ought not pertain to a democratic society such as ours, and fortunately they don't. I have no problem with whom you associate, so long as the method of association does not interfere with the welfare of others, and even if I did, the law does not give me anything more than a public voice to object to your association, which seemly means I am entitled to my opinion and to express it, and nothing more.

However, most of the rules that pertain to such things as drinking at home, shooting at home and gambling in a legal facility are contextual. I can tolerate those activities of others so long as they don't exacerbate into a social problem, such as drinking at home leading to public drunkeness. It is not the action perse, but the outcome of taking the action to excess, which is where the line should be, and usually is, drawn.

Other rules, such as transporting dairy or produce, or slaughtering animals out in the back yard, ought to be done in a prescribed, proven method to reduce the inherent health risks associated with such activity. Perhaps you exercise all the hygenic effort necessary to prevent the spread of disease, contamination, or pests. However, rules such as these are in effect because at some point, some bozo decided to slaughter his chickens in the back yard, and he was not too careful about how he went about it, and maybe some kid or woman saw him doing it and took offense, or the blood and guts entered the public domain or some such and now you've got a public nuisance issue, and possibly a health concern, and so those activities have to be regulated somehow. I used to think there were a lot of ridiculous rules like this when I was younger, but after doing a couple tours in local govt., I've come to realize that each stupid sounding rule and regulation was created because some idiot or sleezebag or just plain ignorant fool didn't take the proper precautions and the situation got out of control and someone that shouldn't have been got their own rights violated as a result. Usually such events are handled in civil trial, but when it is a persistent and more widespread problem, then the regulations get made so that such activities can be controlled and approved methods used by those who so choose.

We had a guy in our neighborhood that didn't quite understand property rights decide to dig a pit in his backyard so he could put in some additional storage. He went and got a little backhoe and proceeded merrily along, right up till he hit the buried fiberoptic line that ran under his property (what is an easement???) That took out all the comms traffic in and out of the southern half of the Hanford Nuclear reservation and got our crew out doing a 90 line splice round the clock. While he was so busy arguing with the utility manager about his property line, the feds were there writing up the bill for the repairs, and the county inspector was there issuing him a notice of violation for not using the utilitiy locates service and for digging a hole more than 3 feet deep on his property.

For most of your list, I can say that the rule or law you violated is there because at some point there was indeed a victim at some point in time, even if not in your case. For the rest, thankfully, there are no such rules or laws in this country, yet, at least not where I live.

More to the point, I think we are still in agreement because I don't see as any of the rules you cite that would apply to a truly democratic society would in the proper context generate a victim. I bet no one's ever come to your home to check and see if you are in fact sitting inside the house drinking beer, unless someone saw you do it and for some reason took offense and called the authorities. Likely if you are prudent about your actions, that would not be possible. It is the careless that get popped for this sort of thing.

Self censorship? Fearing the authorities? The neighbors? Last I heard beer was legal to drink anywhere I damn well please in my own home. When you start thinking that "getting careless" could "get you popped" when all you're doing is what you want and nobody else is involved at all, yeah, I have a big problem with that. To get back On Topic - that makes me unhappy.

Frankly, Martin, based on your confession, I think you have a bigger beef with your town council than with religious zealots.

I understand what you're saying, and this is just not the place in which to elaborate effectively about the subject. Drinking beer in and of itself is not the point of contention, it is more specifically what some people do after they drink the beer that is the problem leading to regulation. I can't imagine anyone who might take offense at seeing you consume a beer in your own home calling the cops to complain. What I see as a more likely event would be someone hearing a stereo system wailing away at 11:00 pm, looking in a window of the house where the noise is coming from, finding those inside drinking and making merry, and then calling the cops, who cite the homeowner/occupant of the house causing the ruckus with disturbing the peace, etc...

It isn't necessarily the act itself that gave cause to the regulation, but the outcome that effected others that promulgated it.

As for the slaughtering/dairy issue, I agree that the realities of government allow for abuses such that the little guy gets stepped on while the industry gets away with murder. I've fought the good fight at city hall to try and correct some of that a long time ago, with mixed results. The bottom line was I was allowed to slaughter goats privately so long as it was not on public land or within the city limits. I found that accomodating enough for the amount of effort it took, and while it was a compromise, it did give me at least the option. That was smalltown, USA back then, though. I doubt you'd have any hope for success changing the regs in somewhere like Milwaukee, Chicago, or Knoxville. The industry lobbies are far too strong there. I worked at a slaughterhouse and was amazed at what they could get away with and what they absolutely could not.

Still, there is much that could be said to continue this discussion, but not here. I wish we could sit over a few beers somewhere, either your place or mine, and hash this out; I bet we could both learn something.

First off, Martin should be arrested for his prior heinous acts and sentenced to watching Bear Grylls repeatedly for the next 2 weeks.

And let's be honest, that which makes us happy is a drink before and a cigarette after.

replace 'cigarette' with 'cigar', and your right on the money!