I tend to lurk here becuase I think this board is very interesting. I'm always trying to prepare myself for the regional conditions here and try to stock up on things I need. Well recently, I got hit with a life threatening problem which I was not prepared for but threatened my survival.

Last year, after 8 years of marriage, we had our first child. We waited for the right time and felt our marriage was stable enough (both financial and emotional) to bring a person into the world. Life was damn good. When she turn 5 months old, my husband completely abandoned the both of us. This was something that smacked my upside the head and hit me by surprise.

Now this isn't a real traditional survivalist situation but yet my home is threatened. I'm a single mom (something I never wanted..its a hard life being a single parent), and now I have to rely completely on my brain, wit and whatever other resources I have to keep the roof over our head and all of life's necessities. Kinda feel like someone stranded on an island...LOL! Living without a net but forcing myself to buckle down and just LIVE day by day until I stabilze.

I realize that the future is not guaranteed to any of us and we should really make the most of the PRESENT to prepare ourselves for life's surprises however tragic. Man, never knew how fragile life is.

Congratulations on the new daughter...I'm sorry about your husband leaving. I'm sure the last thing you need right now is "helpful" advice from a bunch of strangers who know nothing about your unique situation, so I'll just say hang in there and thank you for the good advice about making the most of the present.

Nah, not looking for advice. I was just feeling pensive and wanted to present another view of yet another situation that is threatening.

I am sure no words of encouragement and support will really offset the hurt and shock you are experiencing right now. I have to believe that despite this life-altering event, that you will arise to the situation and not only survive, but learn to thrive. For what little it is worth, you and your daughter are now in the thoughts of those here.

Pete

Melissa,

The fact that you posted to this forum tells me some things about you. First, you're a survivor - that's what this site is all about. Also, you're interested in preparing for the unknown as are the rest of us here. These are good things for someone in you situation.

Over nine years ago, I married a single mom with two kids. I've listened to many stories of the hardships and difficulties that life threw at her. Her life then wasn't easy, but she found ways to overcome the obstacles that confronted her. She became a much stronger person because of her struggles. She's a survivor, like you. That's part of what attracted me to her.

Stay positive and stay strong. I have a feeling that you and your daughter will be alright. You have each other, and that's a good start.

Steve

Marital-related events rank right up there with serious health-related issues on the threats-to-my-personal-survival scale. Being a chronologically-challenged guy, I've had time to experience them all in my younger days, and in my experience, things get a little easier with each passing day. And one day, you find yourself flourishing.


I sense you've got the determination to weather this, and I'm confident you will! I'm reminded of the lessons in an excellent book, Deep Survival, Doug reviewed here, where he says, "...it is about your number one survival tool, more important than any other, your mind."

All the best to you ... someday your daughter is going to be very proud of — and grateful for — her mother's determination.

Dan

I'd say I'm sorry to hear about your difficulties but in the end this may prove to be the best for you so rather I will merely wish you the best of luck.

In that respect I am going to offer you a little advice from the perspective of a boy-made-man who's mother was a single mother who divorced an abusive, psychotic husband and raised 3 underappreciative (at the time) kids. She worked 4 jobs some days just to be able to provide for us.

1) Believe it or not, your kids will respect you for your strength. They may even (as I did) tell you directly in 10-15 years.

2) Life will be very - very - VERY hard. Do not give up but at the same time you will need some 'you' time.

3) Your kids will be extremely difficult and frustrating. Sure, this is probably normal but they will be even worse. No, it's not intentional, and no there's not much you can do about it. Just try to remember murder is still illegal, ok?

4) Believe it or not, kids do get tired of cheesy mac and hotdogs. Go with other cheap foods from time to time such as grilled cheese, pancakes (for dinner yay!) or spaghetti.

Good luck and keep your head above water.

Thanks to everyone for your kind words. I cannot agree more with this statement above. I'm finding out more and more, that what you have in your head is the ultimate weapon against danger. Plus, your ability to stay calm is priceless. This is a hard lesson for me to learn but sometimes you've got to be thankful that some hardships are lessons in disguise.

My sister is now going through what you are experiencing, except her husband recently abandoned her after 16 years of marriage and two young children (aged 7 and 4); also $80k in debt, not including the mortgage on the house.

I wish you (and my sister) didn't have to go through something as awful as this, but I admire your strength and resolve.

Regards,

Justin

here and in other places you will find the acronym TEOTWAWKI (the end of the world as we know it) and there are several ways to interpet it, it can mean different things to different people, and for you TEOTWAWKI is exactly what happened. I'm sorry it happened, and I'm sorry it seems it happens so often in todays society. From my own experiance I know when the world ends you build your own new one or die with the old one. You sound like your determined to build a new one. All any one can do here is offfer hopes and prayer's and you have mine