Preamble :
This post is not intended as the start of a thread, nor as an offence for anyone.
It's just a joke (two, in fact).
I think the second one perfectly illustrates un-communicability ; the first one is more about an adage of this forum : "brain is the first survival tool".
If the moderators of this forum think those jokes may offend some folks, or that they are completly out-of-place here, they are welcome to delete this post.
(I'm not an old-hand at this forum stuff and try to get some bearings)

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First, let's start with France President Chirac
I guess it was last year, before the present little disagrement between our countries, Jacques CHIRAC went to the US of A, to meet your president, Georges BUSCH.
At the end of the meetings, CHIRAC discreetly asked BUSCH :
-Hum.... George, I have a question for you : how do you happen to have such competent collaborators around you, meanwhile I'm surrounded by a bunch of stupid jerks ??
- Well, Jack, it's quite simple ! I test them almost permanently. If they give right answers, they stay. A wrong answer and they are fired ! That's natural selection, only the best ones stay.
- O.K. I understand, but how do you do this ?
- wait, I'll show you ...
And BUSCH calls for Collin POWEL :
- Collin, I'm about to ask you a question. You know the rules : if you give a wrong answer, you are fired ...
So here it is : It's the child of your mother, but it's not your brother, nor your sister.
Who is it ??
Colin thinks about it a few seconds and answers :
- Easy, that's me !!
- O.K., says BUSCH, I'll keep you on my staff.

CHIRAC is really impressed. As soon as he gets back home, he calls for RAFFARIN ( prime minister ) :
- Raff, I will ask you a question. If your answer is right, I'll keep you on the job, at Matignon ( PM offices ). If you're wrong, you are fired !
Listen : It's the child of your mother, but it's not your brother, nor your sister.
Who is it ??
RAFFARIN, who knows when he is out of his depth, asked for a delay, to think about it. CHIRAC grants him 24h.
RAFFARIN runs back to Matignon, gathers all his counsellors and repeats the question. Huge brainstorming session... and finally one of them, maybe smarter than the others, says "we should ask this to JUPPE ( former prime minister - supposed to be brainy but bumptious (I just found that word in the dictionnary - you learn everyday <img src="images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />). He is smart and he knows the president well."
Excellent idea !! RAFFARIN immediatly phones to JUPPE (first name Alain) :
"Allo, Alain ? I have a quizz for you. Here it is : It's the child of your mother, but it's not your brother, nor your sister.
Who is it ??"
JUPPE sneers and answers "Easy. It's me !"

Next day, RAFARIN runs from Matignon to the Elyséees Palace ( home of the president - your White House ).
- Mr President, I have the answer to your question !
- Good, Raff ! So who is the child of your mother who is not your brother, neither your sister ?
- It's JUPPE, Mr President !
CHIRAC is stuned !
- How can you be so stupid, Raff !!! You're fired !!
The right answer is Colin POWELL !!!!!
<img src="images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

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Now let's go to the USA again :

A conversation between President G. Busch and one of his counsellors :

George W. Bush: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The Chinaman!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
George: That's who's name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of
China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle
East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China.
Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk.
And then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.
<img src="images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
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Hope everybody had a good laugh. <img src="images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />


Alain

Great stuff Frenchy! Very funny, haha. Now that is what I'm talkin about, good old fashioned humor. No harm done!

Alain,

I loved 'em.

ROFLMAO!

John

Boy, I hope nobody gets ticked off this time.

Those were great. Needed a good laugh. Thanks. Keys
P.S. You know, after thinking about this for awhile I decided to come back and edit this post. Those were good jokes, but I'm not very comfortable laughing about anything political, or about our President right now. While I strongly believe that ATC should allow spirited discussions, I think I'll take a hiatus from this side of the forum until after the war. This is an international forum with rules, and I have the highest respect for Doug, Chris, and ETS. However, I'm feeling a little too patriotic right now to engage in light hearted sparring at a time when my countrymen are being killed. They are fighting for a cause I believe to be just. Regards, Keys

Hi, KeysBear !

I too do not intend to post any other jokes for the time being.

Those two were just my way to show some of the people on this forum I do like "humour". I choosed kind stories : IMHO they are not "hard" ; they scratch a bit our political leaders, but that's what they are paid for <img src="images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> (well, partly ....).
In France it's a national sport to sting our political figures.
I guess it may not be the same in the States.
And I fully understand your point of view : it may not be the right moment to do so.

Regards.

Alain

Alain,
Your thoughtful reply has brought me back from the shadows. I'm glad you hung in there and did a little sparring. The web is saturated right now with patriotic Americans and sensitive Europeans. Chris is not alone in having to use his referee's whistle as a forum moderator this week. Your jokes were light - and good. I am glad you are a member here.
Americans also like to take a healthy humorous swipe at our politicians, but maybe not this week. The political satire cartoon is a cherished tradition in our newspapers. On another point, I believe Americans tend to want free speech and free access to extend to all groups and forums, whether private or not. We are used to suffering fools, and sometimes bad manners in the name of free speech. I'm also as unimpressed with elitism (not from you) as I am bad manners. These times will pass into better days ahead. Still appreciate that neat statue in the New York harbor you guys sent over. Regards, Keys

-- statue in the New York harbor --
Before building this big one, Bartoldi made a smaller maquette, which is displayed on a small island on the Seine river in Paris.
Unfortunately, "Liberty lightning the world" is not the most visited monument in Paris.
I reckon it's the Eiffel tower - a piece of iron in daylight, but IMHO a real beauty at night, thanks to a splendid floodlightning.
As a matter of fact, these days, the more I look at it, the more it looks like a derrick, without the petrol ..... <img src="images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> could this explain Chirac's present positions ??? <img src="images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

Regards.
Alain

Alain,
My daughter the art student was over your way last summer and brought back several pictures of the petite Miss Liberty. Also got some pictures of that big television tower thing that looks like an oil derrick. Brought me back a nifty cap that says Paris on it too. As for explaining Chirac's positions - it would take a greater mind than I posess, and I even had an undergraduate major in politics and public affairs. Regards, Keys

Hi Alain
Very good, Your Chirac/Bush joke was on my list to post, here it was Bush and Blair, but Bush was the butt of the joke.

Kofi anyone?

Justin

we will now return to our normal service