Ok everytime we are outdoors I bring my regular items. I have my large Sog gov't, Sebenza, Wave, headlamp, etc, etc... My girlfiend and friends always borrow my equipment for camp chores and little jobs. Yes I get my equipment back so that's not the issue but the condition of the equipment has a lot to be desired. I'm not what you would call a neatness freak. But if you get back your Sebenza all dipped in the peanut butter that it won't even close, or Wave working better than ever due to bacon and butter grease, or my lighter empty since it's easier to light the fire with jet set to the max it becomes a little concern to me. I can get pissed at my friends and tell them to get their own or not lend them any stuff. But a love one? Am I being to uptight or am I right? Any opinions? For years I've been know as the guy who is always prepared. If my swiming trunks had belt loops I would probably swim with my leatherman. I don't won't to turn around and say: "no you can't use my leatherman to open the can". I'm always there to give a helping hand. I strongly believe that by doing good deeds I compensate for all the bad stuff I do as well, so I'm not going to pass you when you need help. I understand that not everyone can afford gear or is not interested in survival/cmamping. I'm just trying not to come off as snotty selfish New Yorker. Please help...<br><br>Matt

For your loved one, set her up with her own gear. As for your friends, well ... why don't you make a list for them along with the vendors where they can buy it from. Do this a few weeks ahead of any scheduled trips. You could even set up a weekend as a "survivor" weekend where you volunteer to teach and practice skills. The list then becomes a prerequisite supply list for the weekend.

When I lend equipment to others, I make perfectly clear that I want it back in perfect condition. I won´t lend equipment to people who don´t respect that. So far people respected this. I think that it´s not asking too much, if you demand that people treat your equipment with respect. After all good equipment is expensive.<br>After I told my friend what it means to me if she doesn´t clean my equipment before she gives it back, she understood why she should clean it. I´m sure you could give her examples of things, that you do (or don´t do) because you respect her. That worked for me. Girlfriends don´t come with a manual, so I can´t give you a guarantee that it´ll work with yours. ;-)

we did this with scouts and it worked really well-they had to have some basic items<br><br>a basic penknife<br>a small roll of duck tape<br>a small sewing kit-needle + thread+ a few buttons<br>a few yardes of electricians tape<br>a whistle<br>a few "bandaids"-for the americans!lol<br>and 5 yards of para cord<br><br>And we did a camp made PSK's and lived like we were in a survival situation only thing was food + water were abundent!!!<br><br>We used alsorts of things we could find and stuff i bought for the PSK's<br><br>Good fun!

Matt, I had similar problems with some friends of mine. My wife knows better because right up front she learned that my stuff was not to be messed with unless she could guarantee that I'd get it back in good working order. I said it with a smile and a kiss so she took it in a good way. Otherwise she'd have put a knot in my head, lol. Anyway, I told them that since they couldn't return my tools in like condition as when they received them, that they couldn't borrow them anymore. Instead of them going out and buying what they needed, or bringing thier own stuff from home, they simply stopped going camping with us. To this day I don't think they've spent any time in the woods and this took place years ago. I suppose that I could have put some equipment together for them, but I'm of the thinking that if they really wanted to be there, they'd get their own gear.

The popular phrase around my house is:DAD I don't have one of those. There it goes, into my boy's kit. His is better stocked than mine. What the HECK.

Matt,<br><br>I agree with Willie. If she doesn't have the tools, help her get them; or more realistically, they make great Christmas presents. When I was dating the girl I eventually married, she had come from an urban, and even gun-hating, family. She obviously had none of the useful outdoor tools we all love. As the relationship progressed, I got her a number of useful items as presents. But as with all things start out slowly & be careful. The Field & Stream subscription was accepted, although a little quizically. The good dictionary I gave her was treated as an insult, even though she did not have one & we played a lot of word games. But anyway, things progressed sufficiently well that just before our marriage, I got her a good shotgun for her birthday, and she was quite appreciative. But don't expect miracles: even now after 18 years of marriage, my wife loves her SAK, but rarely has her Leatherman handy. I have a feeling that's what she keeps me around for.<br><br>Anyway, get your girl friend a SAK, a Leatherman, whatever. If it's a serious relationship, maybe a Sebenza. <br><br>As to the friends, why don't they have their own equipment? Maybe they do need some suggestions.<br><br>Good luck<br><br>John <br><br>

Hi there Matt,<br><br>I know exactly how you feel. I let everyone know exactly how I feel about the state of my equipment. When my father was still alive, he borrowed my power drill, which was, and still is, in mint condition. I said to him that I expect it back the way he received it. Well, when he returned it, it looked as if my poor power drill was dropped in a bag of cement. I was outraged and made him clean it. That's just the way I am. I do not generally lend out my equipment. If I did, I would make it very clear about getting it back the way they received it or else...hehehehehe.

A Canadian friend's father was a RAF Spitfire pilot during the battle of Britain. He was very meticulous about cleaning, replenishing and caring for anything borrowed. I commented on this. He told how in WW2 he took up a ship usually flown by another squadron member. He found himself on the business end of a BF-109E and returned to the field in a lorrie and an unpacked parachute. His mate was apopletic about "his" spit being destroyed. We have a throwaway society. My Grandfather's 60 y/o straight razor was never touched by anyone. Today I find my disposables walking down the hall in my cat's mouth or my nephew's spit kit. For a materialistic society, we have a poor regard for material :O(

Yes the throwaway society is what we are. Everything is made fancier and cheaper which automatically becomes more fragile. Cell phones, pagers, computers are expected to be replaced every year now. ANd it has nothing to do with technology progress. It's an economic equation in which time of use became a deciding factor in how well the items are made. Shorter the time, better for the company that will sell more equipment. <br><br>I remember when pagers first came out and I got one. It lasted me four years and it still would, except paging companies "required" you to get a new one. New units broke every year and were not as strong and abuse resistant. Now life span on the pager is 6 months. Same goes for cell phones, pdas computers. But all this is only mendatory if you want to keep up with the hype.

Yeah, Matt, I hear ya. I got so bad for me, that I started not bringing the items people were screwing up. And if I did bring it, I would keep it hidden until I needed it. I felt stingy about it, but they were mine, and they were tools that I intended to have for a lifetime. Which is pathetic...not to mention the fact that I bought these items intending too use them extensively out in the field or campsite. Also, like you, I always was the one that was willing to help in any way I could.<br><br>I recall a float trip about two years back, there was a group of my friends that were going to get back to camp before us, so I lent them my Windmill Lighter, some Sparklite tinder, my Busse Combat 9, and my Maglite...intending for them to start dinner and make us a nice campfire, etc. When I got back, the Windmill was lost in the mud somewhere, they used all the tinder for ONE small fire that was out by the time I got there. My precious Busse, for some reason, was driven in the rock/dirt patch where the cars were parked. And my Maglite was used to drive tent stakes in the ground. My friends had no clue that they were using a $250 knife to chop wood, practice their ninja skills, and see how far they can pry it into a rock/mud driveway. It's pretty funny now that I think about it, but I was pissed at the time. Most everyone was drunk, so I decided to keep my woes to myself.<br><br>From then on, I kept dedicated "stuff" for my camping trips. And if someone wanted to borrow something...I would make sure that I was there watching and helping. Want to borrow my Busse?...here's a Becker C/U7. Want to borrow my Tektite Expedition LED Flashlight?...here's the Maglite you screwed up two years ago. Windmill lighter?...here's a Bic and some newspaper.<br><br>My friends aren't the prepared type, I guess you could say. But it's cool, as long as everything gets done and everyone comes back in one piece, they can use whatever they want of mine...except the Busse, the Tektite, the Coleman Stove, the Amber Bock, the Captain Morgan, the good steaks, the Lender's Premium Bagels, the colby cheese, and the...........<br><br>Seriously though, my friends know for a fact that I will always lend a helping hand whenever possible, and give them the tools and knowledge to do it themselves if they want. I'm sure yours feel the same way. As a matter of fact, I was the one who had to wise up and realize that if they knew how much I valued my stuff, they wouldn't have acted so carelessly with them in the first place.<br><br><br>John McIntire

John, <br><br>like my old man used to say you CAN borrow everything of mine EXCEPT for my gun, wife and a fountain pen. <br><br>Matt

I don't have much extra equippment. What I need I have and what I have I need. When I select companions for an adventure I try to select individuals who will not become a burden. I don't want to be out in the field when I discover that my companion took a child's sleep-over bag on a winter camp with no sleeping pad. (as an extreme example) I select my adventure companions as carefully as I select my gear. If I am in a situation where an emergency arises I expect that I will likely be the only one with any preparations for example at work or on the road during commute. If I find myself hunting with someone who doesn't have a gun I don't lend mine unless it was prearranged that I would be teaching. Otherwise I presume that the fact that he doesn't have one indicates that he doesn't know how to use one. If I am camping with someone who has an axe some chopping needs to be done I will let him chop rather than try to chop with my Bushman knife. (Though the bushman has been all I have needed since I don't look to lumber when I camp and I cook with white gas rather than wood.) <br><br>In anycase when I find myself with someone who doesn't have the tools I have I am always willing to help out by doing the chore rather than loaning a tool to someone who is not qualified to be using the tool. If someone knows why to have a fixed blade knife with them then they will learn how to treat it. If they don't know why they need one they will probably not have learned how to treat or even use one properly. The result could be an emergency caused by drawing the knife towards the body rather than shaving the wood with a push stroke. Such emergencies will tax the supplies of bandages and strength of the friendships at least. Damage to the knife is my secondary concern. <br><br>I was recently camping with some relatives who don't camp often. I arrived first and set a minimalist camp since they would be bringing a boat for ferrying supplies. Their idea of a camp fire was a roaring bon-fire. This is a fun thing to do and I didn't see any harm since there was a steady drizzle all weekend. OTOH the park ranger had a problem with it. I brought a can of gas for my coleman stove and my companions immediately presumed that it was for throwing cups stuffed with gas soaked paper-towels on the fire. We were not drinking and we are all over 30. Point is my relatives were not aware of any of the dangers involved. I wouldn't trust them with a mini-bic much less my windmill. You can choose your gear and you can choose your friends but you can't choose your relatives. Guess what, With a full boatload of supplies one of them brought a summer weight bag without sleeping pad for an October camp in the white mountains (I had brought a spare ECWS cotton/down surplus bag which he ended up using as a sleeping pad), neither brought any knife, one didn't bring any flashlight at all, one had no means of fire-start and the other only book paper matches, both brought only cotton clothing even their jackets were cotton, no rain gear and only sneakers. One did think to bring his boat and his fiddle. Both the boat and fiddle proved helpful though for different reasons. His boat hadn't been started for several months and he couldn't get it to work reliably (spent most of one of the days accomplishing a tune up and removing the water from his fuel (stuff which should have been done before storing it not just before using it. That is the care he takes with a 2000.00$ boat I am certainly not going to loan him my gear. <br><br>I comfortably wore wool with a rain hat and a goretex parka and gortex lined boots. I kept my leatherman in it's sheath unless it was in my hand. I kept my bushman in my pack except when I was liberating a little bit of tinder from the pines, When something needed cutting I was always there with my leatherman and I did the cutting. The leatherman was not in the hands of the relatives once. I did all of the cooking on my coleman and my whisperlight (carried only for the espresso machine which I brought) I put out the fire when it was time to go. <br><br><br>When I am in presence of the underprepared I treat the situation as though in the presence of children and I take care of them. I take responsibility to use my gear, training and preparations to ensure that a good time is had by all. To expect someone else, who is already suspect due to being underprepared, to take that responsibility or any part of it is folly.<br><br>My relatives never once thought I was haughty or stingy they were rather grateful for my level of preparation and helpfulness. By the end of the weekend they were asking for a list of gear that they might want to put together in order to be better prepared for next adventure - I never once made a comment about their lack of preparations - we discussed things a bit and I don't know if they will actually acquire any gear or not but I do know that they will not have the opportunity to ruin mine.

Hahahahahah.........right on Matt! He sounds like a brilliant man.<br><br>John McIntire

When I was in the cadets a lot of kids (13/15 years of age) were all under prepared for 1/2 nights sleeping in the forrest so I always lended them a hand (when I knew what to do when they still had to learn it) but I hardly let them use my equippment because you know what the majority is like. Wanting to touch it, show it to their mates and then oh sorry I broke it. <br>Esspecially with my platipus they all wanted to drink from it-sorry but not a chance. <br>I have been in an "emergency" with the cadets on a weekend when one had mild hyperthermia (I had just read a book about the condition so I knew more thasn the accompaniying instructor!) and I made him a brew, let him use my spare clothes and I headed back off with him to base. Once the situation arises (or to prevent it from arising) I am prepared to do my bit. <br><br>Talking about my SAK champ, right now its on my side. although I love and have the money to buy a Leatherman I dont want to do it because I know that the champ will end up lying in the drawer. The leatherman taking the space on my hip instead. I dont want to let that happen after steady service of 4 years and spending £30 on it (second hand with 2 pouches)<br><br>reinhardt

i'm a volunteer at a co0untryside park and one of the other volunteers wanted to use it - in my reluctants i said yes (he's 15 but a bit of a fool) and i was panicking with the fact that it wasn't on my belt!!!! I couldn't believe i was panicking!!!!!!!! he wasn't doing anything daft i was just nervous-i can't believe it!lol

Sometimes we rush to buy the latest gear and retire faithfull equipment. I often wonder how Oetzi would react to simple strike anywhere matches and a $9 Mora knife. "It's not so much the machine, but the man in it"- Ritter Manfred Von Richtofen