Okay, here it is. You're sitting at home on Saturday afternoon reading the ETS forum enjoying your beverage of choice. You feel pretty good because you finally finished packing that "almost perfect" BOB, restocked all your food and water supplies, and finished stocking and prepping all other necessary provisions. The cars/trucks are all gassed up and ready to go. As you're preparing to respond to a long term preparedness thread about food supplies you hear, POP, POP, POP! followed by a few loud screams. What the hell!? You carefully peek out the window and see some guy with a handgun putting round after round into a slowly moving group of about 10 people shuffling down the street moaning. You think, "thats funny, those people look mighty dirty and ragged and all they do when they get hit is recoil slightly and keep on shuffling forward." Then you see the guy doing the shooting run out of ammo, turn around and start to run in the opposite direction while yelling, ZOMBIES!! THE DEAD HAVE COME BACK TO LIFE!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!! (Think "Dawn Of The Dead")



Okay, go.

I agree. Since we’re looking at wacky, might as well go all “Hot Fuzz” on the “Shaun of the Dead”.

Wow, good plan. I'll stick with the "normal zombies." Mutant zombies? I wouldn't even know what to do. Ah, the good ole' machete, always a good backup zombie weapon. With the ole' baseball bat running a close second. I see a problem though. Toasting the 10 zombies is likely to be a noisy affair. Which leads me to think it would attract more of their moaning friends roaming around the area. Hmmm, do you board the windows from the outside or the inside? Decisions, decisions. After taking care of the first group I'd be hard pressed about what to do with screaming neighbors wanting to get in the house for protection, and also weary of those neighbors who start shooting at everything that moves. It could get dicey. I think I'd retreat and board up the windows from the inside. Board up the windows, get on the roof, and watch the hysterical neighbors battle it out while practicing marksmanship with a rifle from the roof.

Shaun of the Dead is one of my favorite movies of all time. Brillinat. Can't wait to see Hot Fuzz. Those guys are hilarious.

Did you just join Zombie Squad?

Since I don't own a flamethrower, the next best thing for the mobility challanged undead is the bumper and tires of a large truck.

Ironraven,

Uh, let me know if you want a flamethrower.

As for Zombies, a bat or machete lets them get too close! I'd hope into our Honda Pilot and mow down any zombies in the neighborhood. I'd drive in reverse to protect the engine/radiator (old demolition derby trick). Then I'd round up the neighbors I trust and do a bite-check. If bit they would served up lots of alcohol until renderd unconcious and, sadly, left to make the change. Once the change happend, *BANG*

From then we'd set up house as a protected area ringed with gasoline-soaked brush at the outer parimeter and a bunch of trucks parked facing outwards and loaded with food/water/gear in case we need to make a fast exit. Between the cars and the brush would be assorted homemade landmines and claymores. Several reenforced Zombie-Smasher trucks would remain outside the brush line in an open clearing ready to drive over and zombies spotted. CB or FRS radios would keep them in contact with homebase.

Several shooting platforms would be built on the roof of the house and would be kept manned. At night the lookouts would use high-powered flashlights to keep an eye on things.

And I, I would be a HERO!!!

-Blast, who is thinking maybe SlimFast has hallucengic properties...

Well, I'd call the Zombie Squad, of course! www.zombiehunters.org

I have to admit, I've been following their forum ever since someone posted the link here a few months ago. Those people really do have their act together, especially in field-testing their gear and plans. Kind of like Alpha Rubicon with a dose of humor. The whole zombie thing is their tongue-in-cheek way of getting people to think about emergency preparedness. I'd be a full-fledged member by now except that their site is blocked by nannyware here at work.

-Blast

Please explain.

-Blast

I've also been lurking around their website, and they seem like a great group. I'd love to go on their annual camping trip, seems like a lot of fun. Membership is priced fairly as well.

As for this wacky scenario, I think I'd try to fight my way to a rural area and find a well-fortified farmhouse to lay up in, kinda like Night of the Living Dead.