Oh dear what to say about Bear Grylls. This TV Man Vs Wild series is just soooo annoying yet is remarkably entertaining in a 'No, NO , NO , what the f**k are you doing you t**t' shouting at the TV kind of way.

Other examples which have caused me to shout at the TV.


'Alright you've got your survival knife and 58 pattern water bottle and mug, but where is your PSK, you've forgotten it, haven't you, you t**t'

'Yeah, right, is that meant to be a deserted Island in Pacific, looks more like Barbados. The beach your stranded on looks like your only a stones throw away from Whitney Houston's pad'

'Why does your raft look like it actually on the back of another boat'

'There's something fishy alright about that shark circling the raft.'

'Why are you going to jump off a 50 ft cliff into water of an unknown depth, your going to break your legs or your spine, just calm down and just raise your hand to the bear and ask it to go away.'

'No, No, what are you doing, why are you trying to raft down that white water instead of walking around the rapids so that you can get out of the mountains safely, your now going to die of hypothermia or drown to death you fool.'

'Why would you want to swim across the lake, when you can see the long away round, your going to get drowned, you idiot.'

'Yeah right, lets try and see if you can get out of that icy tomb without that convenient hand help you have conveniently chiseled out of the ice 10 minutes before you jumped in.

'Oh my god, trust your life when hanging of a cliff with a single length of 550 paracord, No, No find another way down even if it means walking an extra few miles.'

Oh, please, don't eat the fish raw, it could have parasites in it. Its not Sushi. You should by now have learnt to build a fire. You are now just showing off you w****r.'

and I think I've only ever seen 3 episodes.

Follow this guys actions and you are going to either die from drowning, falling, hypothermia, exhaustion, or suffer a long slow agonising death from either water or food poisoning.

If real survival information is needed get hold of some Ray Mears not this 'Action Man'.