Actually, bribery I think sends an entirely poor message to kids, rewards for good work might be more appropriate. I feel that the activity itself should be reward enough, so I prefer to give them a choice. They can choose to do the thing I think they will benefit from more, or they can choose the other option, which will help build their character more and teach them a deeper appreciation of property ownership. (which involves an endless list of household chores, or heading to the berry-picking fields, or out to the woodpile, etc). I prefer to have my kids feel that the choices I present them are privileged opportunities to avoid the mundane tasks and that they have inherent value enough to be worth their interest. It worked pretty good for me, and it does require that parents get more involved in their childrens lives.

I think if the dad really wanted to get his son involved, then he would've taken the time and made the effort to ensure that the kid was interested and motivated to participate. Nothing in the story indicates this was the case, so it is easy to conclude the worst about the man. I can't see it as anything but either laziness or general disinterest, both of which are repugnant.

I've not been with my kid for two years now, but the previous 16 were spent taking the time and making whatever effort was needed to raise a responsible, respectable, confident and capable young adult. If you are going to have children, then they need to be the most important thing in your life, above career, above personal interests; you need to be willing to do whatever it takes to ensure their success, or else you have failed in life. That's my philosophy anyways.

I didn't leave until I was sure the kid was capable of functioning without me being right there, that she had learned the set of values she needed to and was able to apply them accordingly. Then my priority shifted from gentle but firm guidance to earning more money so I could pay for her college needs and whateve else she had to have to get ahead over the next 4 to 6 years. I do not enjoy the work I do, nor do I like being away from my loving wife, but by doing this I have doubled my earning capability and I am improving her chances to accomplish as much as she likes by increasing the funds available to her.

To her credit, she has earned a college scholarship in my absence, got a job, made the varsity volleyball team, and is setting records in track and field at her high school. She basically self motivated through all this, despite having to move to a new school her junior year. As I discovered from the first daughter, even with a scholarship they need a lot of financial help these days.

I have no tolerance left for parents who foist off their responsiblities onto others. That especially includes single parents who've elected to go it alone because they are unhappy with the choice they've made for a partner. This trend of apathy in family life by men and women who know better is rotting the core of our society. There's not so much wrong with the children these days who get into trouble; there's plenty wrong with their immature and selfish parents.