Chisel,

Your son has some of the classic characteristics of Aspergers syndrome: lack of attentiveness - though a very high ability to concentrate on what he want to do, very high intelligence, a tendancy to be an "expert" on some subject, very poor social skills, "odd" behavior.

I know about AS because my 12-year old son has it. Its not a bad thing or a good thing. Its just the way he is ... much like saying someone wears glasses. When my son was 2-years old he'd memorized entire books - word for word. At first we though he could read, but it was just an "act". Just like you said, my 10-year old daughter has to watch out for her 12-year old brother.

Others who may feel the urge to try to preach to me that AS is made-up or an excuse for poor parenting ... don't bother. I know my son VERY well. I know AS well. It does exist.

The good news (and for some the bad news): there is no drug that will help AS. My son has never taken any drugs for his AS.

Some say that people with AS are "wired" to be the perfect engineers, mathematicians, scientists, or computer programmers - very detail oriented, smart as heck, easily memorizes complicated stuff. While their social skills will make the teenage years tough, he will do just fine as an adult, though some may consider him a little "odd". He'll most likely get married, get a great job, and have wonderful children. I'm pretty sure my uncle - my older sister's husband - has AS too. He is very smart, has always been a bit "odd", and is an expert on collectables - especially old records, but is a very nice guy with two wonderful boys (my nephews), and my sister loves him very much.

Please do learn about AS. I've read stories about kids finally learning that they have AS and being relieved that there is a reason for their behavior ... and that they are not alone. Our son knows about his AS and we are open about it with his friends and fellow Boy Scouts. They treat him much better knowing that he's not trying to be [fill in the blank with words like odd, rude, noisy, etc...]

Here is a pretty decent description of AS characteristics:

Language: Difficulty with pragmatics (using language to have a conversation). They may make irrelevant comments, interrupt, or give long monologues on a topic that interests them regardless of whether the listener is interested. They may require extra processing time to understand conversation. People with AS tend to be very literal in their use of language, and may misunderstand humor or sarcasm.

Cognitive: Good rote memory, but difficulty with problem-solving and drawing inferences. They have trouble "reading between the lines."

Social Skills: Lack of awareness of the unwritten rules of social conduct is characteristic of individuals with AS. They tend to be excessively blunt and honest. This makes them appear rude or obnoxious to others. They have difficulty making eye contact, which can make it appear to others that they are not listening. They are unaware of non-verbal or body language cues and facial expressions, so they have difficulty guessing the thoughts and feelings of others. They have limited understanding of emotions, both their own and others'. Individuals with AS have difficulty grasping the concept of personal space, and may impinge on the space of others without realizing that they are making others uncomfortable.

Many AS children lack the ability to have or show empathy towards others. They don’t seem to have the ability to “stand in the other person’s shoes” or take another person’s perspective. For example, AS children may find it difficult apologizing to another child for hurting their feelings, trying to feel what another person feels, imagining they are somebody else (e.g. a convict settling in Australia), or how they felt during 9/11. AS children require help to recognize the effects of their actions on others and will need to be taught how to identify and respond to emotions appropriately.

Individuals with Asperger's Syndrome tend to be rigid in their thinking and assume that other people think the same as they do. They often have a strong need to follow a schedule and/or follow rules. They may respond badly to sudden changes, authoritarian behavior and anger from others.

Sensory responses: Individuals with ASD have unusual responses to sensory stimuli. Loud noise and certain pitches may be painful. Hypersensitive hearing and an inability to screen out background noise may cause sensory overload or shutdown. Light touch that would not bother most people may be painful to the person with Asperger's. They may "over-react" to accidental or purposeful touching. They may be sensitive to light, and the flickering of fluorescent lights and computer screens may cause discomfort Strong odors can cause problems also.

(My son hates to touch wet stuff and can't stand sudden loud noises or 3D movies like those at Disney World. He also hates carbonated beverages because of the feel, not the taste.)

Motor Skills: Both fine and gross motor skills can be affected. Handwriting, cutting, and drawing may be difficult, although some individuals are gifted artists. Ball-handling and other athletic skills are difficult for most people with AS. Because of these characteristics, people with AS tend to have high levels of anxiety. They often feel overwhelmed with sensory stimuli that are beyond their control and confused by social relationships that they don't know the rules for.

(My son did fine with handwritting though it can look odd. He loves to draw, though seems to have little interest in colors - usually just pencil).

Feel free to PM me if you wish to.

Ken K.