First of all, no one acknowledged the dilbert video I posted earlier as a humorous attempt to alleviate your concerns. For those who did not/cannot view it, it has dilbert going to the doctor's where he is diagnosed as 'going to be an engineer'. The symptoms include a high intelligence but general social ineptitude.

That being said, I find a better analogy in fiction through Frank Herbert. If you're familiar with dune, you're familiar with Mentats. Mentats are very likely the incarnation of people with AS.

I read your list of AS (I've never heard of it) and found it to ring true for myself as well. As stated before I have many of these same problems and have gone through quite alot which I've never really publically stated to work through them. Anyways I'm 26 years old now. I can say that if your son is having social difficulty there are several things I can recommend:

1) Martial arts. More specifically try wrestling or karate. Intelligent people make great fighters, but the discipline of it will help him get control of his mind. It worked for me and has worked for others.

2) Again, diet. Don't go overboard here. The only two things I take are magnesium and vitamin E. I watch what I eat, but do eat junk food. Why? Because most junk food comes from corn meal and is awesome for sustained energy if you have a high metabolism like me. Before I discovered this I spent years being overly aggressive, easily frustrated, feeling physically ill, etc, all because of my hyperactive metabolism. Can't say mine will be the same as your son's but realistically if you tune him into it he'll use that enormous intellect of his to figure it out for himself as he goes.

3) Can't get him to learn social skills? Teach him to learn. For me, I had difficulty adjusting until I learned to learn social skills. Then I simply applied the old 'mind vaccuum' and now I'm relatively socially adept. Basically when interacting in a social environment I for the most part treat it as a vast chess game. It took a while for that realization to click but once it did, I immediately began soaking up how it worked like a sponge. Moreover, I began ENJOYING the challenge of it.

4) If your son doesn't do his homework, stop rewarding him. I had a big problem with this. I found most homework unchallenging and boring. Unfortunately if the habit is not reinforced they will kind of pay the piper later.

So I guess this long winded post there are 3 main topics:
A) Teach him to discipline himself.
B) Teach him to teach himself how to learn.
C) Teach him good habits that reinforce him.

Beyond that, I'd say let him go where the river takes him. I personally suffer from an abundance of hobbies. I get interested in something, have an intense learning period and then maintain it as a hobby. That's how I got into this whole 'survival' bit.

Hope that helps and good luck with your lil'engineer

Well Nighthiker, you are right, kinda-sorta.

This just makes the problem harder. Because I have to seive through his behaviour and ignore what is "typical" teenage nuisance and what is something that needs attention.

I have found the following on the Mayo clinic site. It sure adds weight to the no-drug thing and more into teaching and training:




Treatment

The core signs of Asperger's syndrome can't be cured. But most children benefit from early specialized interventions that focus on behavior management and social skills training. Your doctor can help identify resources in your area that may work for your child. Options may include:

Communication and social skills training.
Many children with Asperger's syndrome can learn the unwritten rules of socialization and communication when taught in an explicit and rote fashion, much like the way students learn foreign languages. Children with Asperger's syndrome may also learn how to speak in a more natural rhythm, as well as how to interpret communication techniques, such as gestures, eye contact, tone of voice, humor and sarcasm.

Cognitive behavior therapy.
This general term encompasses many techniques aimed at curbing problem behaviors, such as interrupting, obsessions, meltdowns or angry outbursts, as well as developing skills like recognizing feelings and coping with anxiety. Cognitive behavior therapy usually focuses on training a child to recognize a troublesome situation — such as a new place or an event with lots of social demands — and then select a specific learned strategy to cope with the situation.

Medication.
There are no medications to treat Asperger's syndrome. But some medications may improve specific behaviors — such as anxiety, depression or hyperactivity — that can occur in many children with Asperger's syndrome.

Chisel,

A book for reference is:

"Thinking about you thinking about me" at Amazon

We have the book and my son has taken a summer course/session/group with her.

and a website to look at is:

asperger syndrome

hope this helps

Chisel,

I don't think it makes your problem harder. I don't see as you need to expend effort differentiating amongst your kid's needs. Whether it is part of one sort of behavior or another, it all boils down to you asserting more control over your son's life and activity in a positive but firm manner and responding to his actions.

Looking at the Treatment list you cite from the Mayo Clinic, it looks a lot to me like what I related in previous posts. Is there anything in that list that you feel is really beyond your ability to provide yourself for you child? Again, not being able to evaluate your situation subjectively, it may be that the situation will require some external intervention/assistance more than just you alone. If so, then I would recommend seeking that help as well, just be sure that you've done your part as well. Things like behavior management and social skills training ought to be part of the parenting package. These were things I always thought were my responsibility when raising my own children. Sometimes it required some "tough love", but you do what you gotta do to get results. Learning how to deal with stress was also something I taught my kids. I don't see as it is much different in the case of AS, except maybe requires just more effort and interactive time.

Keep in mind that diagnosis and treatment by a professional may put a permanent mark against your child as well, which is why I advocate trying it on your own first. It will be hard work, kids always are, but that is part of the deal.

However you decide to deal with it, you will have my support so long as you are putting your kid's success first.

Thanks Matt




I agree with you Benjamin and that is whaty I am doing right now. I havent gone to any doctor and the only thing additional to what I do now is the diet thing that will not hurt anyway.

Later if I see myself on the right track, I am going to read more into the subject so that I can keep an "expert" eye on his development. I can only coach him while he is young enough. When he gets older it is the right thing to leave him to tackle his own problems by himself while I provide advice when he asks for it.

I have all the patience in the world and would stick by his side . The only thing that worries me now - being addicted to this survival thing - that if a catastrophe happens and we need everyone to shift into survival mode, I really wonder how he will behave. Will he - for example - realize early enough that circumtances are not normal and that he has to act quick in a way or another. Or, will he beahve the same way , lost somewhere , not realizing the dangers until it is too late. It comforts me that his younger brother is with him in the same school (and that younger one is a mini-McGyver). But I still worry about him if he was alone in SHTF situation.

Hey, that's the spirit!!

The surest way to find out how he will do when faced with a survival situation is to put him into one of sorts. Get him out of his comfort zone a little, under conditions you can control but he can't and see how well he floats. He may not want to go willingly, he may whine and feign failure, but if it is set up right, it is almost impossible for him to continue in a non-participatory path. It will require some creative planning on your part, and you may have to set it up quite a bit, but where there's a will, there's a way.

Something simple like being 50 miles away from home and the car breaks down, and you don't have a cell phone, or it isn't working (in reality, you can emulate this without actually having to do without a phone, just in case), and you have to get home, or back to camp, or try signalling someone to help you out, etc. I hope you get the idea. Maybe make him responsible for solving a problem along the way, like figuring out which way to go next, or what else to try to start the fire with.

The point is get him in a situation where he is not in control and must react to the conditions. It may seem extreme, but what have you got to lose? Every time he responds in a positive manner, heap on the praise and admiration, maybe even astonishment, but make it genuine. Give him lots of physical contact, and be firm. He can't help but to become increasingly motivated.

might want to have a look at that, typed a bit fast there?