Well, fear is a part of our existence. I would say that fear can be categorized as rational and irrational. Rational fear is for the most part a good thing. It generates a healthy and necessary aversion to harm and allows for reason to benefit our learning where experience alone would be a bit counterproductive. Having a healthy fear of wild critters keeps some of us from wandering around in bear country without suitable precautions. While I was in Iraq, rational fear kept me alert and aware of my surroundings and thinking about what to do if... Irrational fear would've paralyzed me, made me do stupid things, and ultimately I would not have lasted as long as I did.

One trip I took to Taji I was on the threshold from rational to irrational. I managed to keep my nerve. When the security group cmdr asked if I was scared, I said yes, but I was still willing to go. Fortunately nothing happened, but it can be a bit rough driving in all that traffic and dodging the big "potholes" from earlier car bombs. Especially when I was 200 meters from one getting popped in front of me a while before, with all the passengers in the primary vehicle getting killed.

I stayed alert, but every time traffic slowed us to a crawl, or we went through a checkpoint, I got exceedingly nervous. Was it warranted, well, there wasn't much I could do about it if someone popped us once we were out the gate, so taking all that adrenaline probably didn't do a great deal for my health. It did give me some perspective later on, and make me think about what is really important in life. Now, everyday I am not in Baghdad is a good day. I tell people when it gets rough here at work (Denver, Manhattan, Phoenix, Brisbane) that at least nobody is shooting at me or trying to blow me up, which is a really good thing.

Now when I got caught out in the parking lot one day during a rocket attack, the adrenaline did help me outrun a couple young marines. Of course, I needed the oxygen bottle once I got to the bunker, and the marines had something to talk about for the day, and I had to go back afterwards and pick up all the junk that fell out of my pockets, but at least I learned when I have to, I still have the hustle in me...


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The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools.
-- Herbert Spencer, English Philosopher (1820-1903)