I know enough to do basic maintence on my car, but but that's about it, so I'm looking for some sage wisdom from the list. Last night, it was about 10 below with wind chills down around -30 here. Becuase I'm close enough I can walk to work, I do, so it hasn't been moved in a few days.

After lunch, I went out to start my car. It had warmed up to about 20. It made two valiant but failed attempts to start, so I put the charger on the battery figuring it needed to be topped up. Let it charge, tried again. Two turns, and then clicky-clicky-clicky.

I think I know what it means, but I want some additional opinions.

Ironraven,
It could be your starter solenoid but that's remote - last on my list for the symptoms you describe.

My first thought is the battery. Even though you charged it and it tried to start before "clicking", I'd say bad battery ...or charging connections... or you didn;t charge it long enough. As you know, the cold weather is the silent killer in your case.

If you can, take it out and bring it into warmer climes to charge it. Let it get its full charge.... a good charger will also de-sulfinate it. Then try it. Also as you know, it could very well be that, even though you might charge it and get it good to go, it may not last much longer.... and certainly, it won;t go through many more stone-dead revivals.

Good luck

Forgot to mention (because I figure you know much more about this stuff than you think)... but you never know, so....
- remember to clean your battery terminals and terminal connections on your vehicle's cables
- I'll bet you have a sealed battery because they almost all are nowadays, but if not: check water level if your caps are removeable. Fill with distilled if you have it. And if you do this step, do it before charging of course.

Besides sucking the life out of a battery, cold weather makes oil and such thicker which in turn takes more energy to spin crankshafts, cam shafts, valves, and pistons.

Cold weather is not good on a vehicle especially when the temps go below 0.

You CAN, depending on the type of vehicle, get a deep cycle battery, that works well in colder weather. Its been below or at 0 here the past few days, and my jeep isnt liking it too much. As you've probably deduced by now, it is most likely your battery.
This is the reason I love standards. PArk on a hill nose down; battery is dead, start clutch popping!!

Can't get a light bulb out there- will a bottle of hot water do? Or not enough/too much heat?

My first thought is corroded battery post connections. That's what makes it click but not crank in warm weather and in cold weather the corrosion impedes current flow.
For cold weather starts everything has to be pretty much just right- oil viscosity, battery capacity, battery leads, fuel mixture and good, hot spark.

Clean your battery terminals annually and you won't get clickety-click.

Tool to use is a 2 part tool. One part looks like a bristle-brush christmast tree - it cleans inside the terminal clamp. The other is a socket with bristles to clean the post.
If you have screw-on terminals they need to be loosened and worked a bit. You want bright, shiny metal surfaces touching each other when you connect the terminals. Slather the terminals with grease after re-making all the connections.

Cars are better than they have ever been but some fundamentals of car care haven't really changed.

A bad solenoid can only be diagnosed AFTER the terminals and cables have been seen to. And sometimes corrosion has gotten inside the cables under the insulating sleeve so you can't tell for sure unless it's never corroded.

I think car care IS a flavor of survival skill.

unimogbert

Try to have a neighbor come by with their car, and use jumper cables. The running car will have enough juice to let you crank the engine over if it's just a bad battery. Then you'll know where to drive when you get it started, to Sears for a new DieHard <img src="/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> If jumping it doesn't work, then you probably have another problem. The idea about keeping the terminals and cables clean is vital too.
I carry jumper cables in my vehicle, and have a set in my wife's car, so someone could help her if needed. I also have one of those jumpstart packs, which I have never used on my own car, but, have used several times on other people's cars in our work parking lot. They are surprisingly powerful for a short time.
Also, your charger may have a "jump start" setting. Some of them can briefly deliver a lot more than just charging current.
You could get a block heater, in some cold weather areas it's standard gear.
Best of luck!

I assume you've tried and tested and you're sure it's not the battery?

I recommend not banging on the starter just yet, Ironraven. I would determine first that it's definitely not the battery and.or connections. These two are your most likely culprits based on the symptoms you described. Banging on starter (or solenoid) comes later..

After charging you should let the batterie sit for an hour or two and then check the voltage. If it´s too low the battery is past it´s prime. It is important to let battery warm up before charging. Otherwise the battery may not be charged to the full capacity. The car battery may need a night in a room with a temperature above freezing before it is warm.
Sometimes the contact where the ground strap of the battery is attached to the car´s body is loose or corroded. That may also cause the problems you described.