Has anyone gone through midlife crisis?

Do you know anyone experience midlife crisis? I am just curious because I might be undergoing midlife crisis. I want to know how you deal with this issue.

I want to but my wife won't let me. <img src="/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

-Blast

I can only speak for myself, but I believe it natural for individuals to question their position in life many times throughout one’s life. Many of us want to know what our purpose is in life, why things are the way they are, how we fit in with some master plan and if our goals are practical and obtainable.

Satisfaction in life comes from many sources; adhering to a particular religious philosophy/doctrine, family, career, education, material wealth, art, sports and pretty much everything one can imagine. What gives us great satisfaction and peace of mind at one point in our lives may be very different at another. I believe, as we get older, we tend to value relationships and experiences rather then a particular goal such as getting that new house, car, boat, etc. We come to realize that material things are temporary in nature and what gave us pleasure at 21 no longer has the same value when we are 40, 50, 60…

It is natural to reflect on one’s life and examine if one had taken a different path, what would life be like now. Did accomplishing “X” in one’s life, which may have seemed so important at the time, really satisfy us. I believe that the journey is often more valuable, then the destination.

Any crisis can be approached with the same STOP acronym we utilize for emergency situations. Stop, analyze where you are (your resources), set priorities, make a plan and implement the plan, adjusting the plan as you encounter twist and turns.

Life is dynamic, sometimes it seems like the whole world is crashing down around us and at other times, we are untouchable. Both experiences help us to grow, since without challenge we would never learn to appreciate the small, sometimes truly valuable things in life.

Take care-
Pete

Midlife means ONE crisis, I think I get one of those every 10 to 15 years. This is how I became crazy about preparedness a few years earlier.

Time comes when you stop and ask yourself lots of questions. I think if all your questions deal with yourself, its a bit easier problem. If it has to do somehow with your spouse, then Its a bit harder.

The best thing to do is take it easy. Even if you feel it is a must to change things , change things slowly. You have been "stuck" with those things for years and cant hurt to keep them a bit longer. If your spouse is a good listener that is a plus. If not, let your favourite belifs and or hobbies help sooth your pains and help you move ahead at a comfortable pace. Comfortable for you and your loved ones.

Good luck

ummm , wife, yeah

I thought mine was God's punishment for something that I have done. She woulnt even try to understand any reason for preparedness. How about that ?? <img src="/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

However, when I regained my brain I could see her as the butterfly that adds color and real beauty in my life.

Without her, I am a cactus under the sun

hmm. there is one problem. I don't have a spouse yet. <img src="/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> I feel sort of lost on yellow brick road to see the wizard.

I don't know which direction to take in life anymore. Is this common problem for men? The job doesn't thrill me anymore.

Kind of a long post....

I'm not mid-life, only 30, but I am single. I started not liking where I was in life. Seemed like all my friends were getting married, or having long-term girlfriends and "saving money". The job started sucking, so one day a year ago in September I decided to start putting a list of goals together. Included in it was getting the hell out of the town I had been in for the last 11 years. It made me start thinking about the future, and hopefully make those plans in the forefront of my mind every time I spend money, or plan to do something. It really made me notice my debt.

Well, I put that nice paper in a pile of paperwork that sat on my dining room table for a long time. Eventually it got put into a folder. I moved to Connecticut and was going through a box of paperwork. There was my list. It had about 5 items, like jogging 3 times a week, be under 180 lbs, pay off a credit card, getting out of town and getting a general class amateur radio license. I had paid off that credit card, and I was out of town. Ironically, my new lease started September 1st. Goal met.

I sat down again today and put together a new 5 year plan. It's a new place, a new job, and all new people, figured a good time to do it. I'd lost sight of the yellow brick road at my last job. I didn't feel I had changed at all in 3 years ( I had been there for 5).

It's not hard and fast, but it represents the things I think are important. On the original list I had like "be married" and other things that tend to just happen. I removed those. Instead I replaced them with things that would make me a better more well rounded individual. Stuff I think I might like, or would be cool to know: Like sailing. I now try to take one certification or class on something that interests me. All the while trying to pay down my debt.

You may want to talk to someone about your "crisis", just in case it's depression. Even if you're going to, I'd say sit down and write out your plans for the next 5 years. Start by writing down things you'd like to do.

My new list of goals is near my bedroom door. I don't know if I made the right decision, but I know I made a decision. People ask me why after living in Florida for 25 years I'd want to move to Connecticut. It doesn't matter, I'm just not in Florida anymore! However, you might want to check back with me in the middle of February. <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Congratualtions ki4buc! I commend you. Often times doing SOMETHING is more important than doing the RIGHT thing. Most people do not make any effort as they are too busy trying to think about what the right thing is and the whole time are on their duff.

I think activity can also help with any depression that kicks in as you are too busy living to sulk and be depressed.

Don't knock marriange though. If you find a good person that you get along with and like, go for it! I was successful and had a good business and was out and about prior to getting married. But once I got married, and particularly after I had kids...man, that totally changes your life. And for the better. I don't care how much success you have had before, or how much pleasure, I cannot put into word the feeling you get the first time, and every time, one of your children crawl up to you in bed in the morning, wake you up, and say, "I love you daddy."

No matter how proud I have been of my achievements, it is nothing compared to the pride I feel when my kids said their first word, or took their first step. Anyway, you get the picture right?

And finally, having a legacy to protect and cherish changes how you see things too. My wife doesn't work and I run my business part-time. I make less money than if I were to work full-time, but I do not miss any of my childrens' childhood. A worthwhile trade-off. Actually, the weird thing is I actually make more than when I worked all the time before I gor married. Strange things happen when life is good. And to me, kids make life good.

Ask me how I feel after my kids leave the nest and I may have a different answer, but I don't think so. I have things that I am looking forward to doing then too.

I'm in the same situation -- no wife, not even a girlfriend

mid 50's and frustrated with job and life

if you find an answer, let me know

Erik Erikson, a psychologist, developed a theory about stages in the life of humans. Keep in mind that those age groups are not set in stone. I.e.: its never too late for Affiliation and Love! (he places it in Young Adulthood)
More info here:
http://www.learningplaceonline.com/stages/organize/Erikson.htm