Do you guys / gals think it is more difficult to get married nowaday? The is a growing number of singles in US/ Canada because they can't find suitable mate. There are many women who want to choose a perfect guy. They won't settle for average guy.

Economic reason also another factor contributing to rise of singles.Multiple waves layoff from various industries create uncertainties for people who want to delay marriage for several years until they can find stable jobs.

And some guys won't settle for an average girl.

Statistics can be spun however the creator wants them to be received. People have been getting married for an awfully long time, and I doubt it's going to stop anytime soon.

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

I think cedfire is right: every generation has difficulties finding the "right" person.
In our days there are all those online dating/matching sites that claim they can calculate the right person for you. <img src="/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I think it's more like less reason to get married (you know the old story ... who keeps a cow if milk is free?), combined with more reason not to, like our current divorce laws.

Getting married still costs $50 and an hour at the court house. Getting unmarried costs everything you have, and most of what you will have. Every year, there are about half as many divorces as marriages. That's where that old ``statistic'' about ``half of all marriages end in divorce'' comes from. Given all that, why does anyone get married today?

females has become less finacieel dependend on the male. Also people are becoming more individual than ever and put marriage lower on there list.

Oy. Talk about a survival question??..

Is it harder? Many of my younger friends say so; so do many of my contemporary single friends.

As to the why, I think it?s a number of factors (in no particular order): we live in a time of the immediate gratification, the rather easy divorce laws, little reason to make the commitment when you can do the same thing without it, commitments mean less these days, people often have unrealistic expectations of a mate, etc, etc. There is no simple answer.

My wife and I have been married for 19 years now. For me, the companionship, security, and reassurance that I derive from being married is immeasurable. We have shared wonderful times and very tough ones. And each seems to make us stronger. Has it been the stuff of romance novels? Nope. (?Happily ever after? is for children?s fairy tales?.) Am I the perfect mate? Um, nope. Is she? Nope. Is it the toughest job you?ll ever have? Yep. Marriages take work. Lots of work. And, a lot of patience. I think the latter is sorely lacking in many folks nowadays, which is another factor for the dilemma.


Also, it helps if your wife will, without a second thought, buy you an over-priced tin full of candy just because she thinks you might want the tin. In this forum, we call a mate like that a?.. ?keeper?. <img src="/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

?..CLIFF

I experience that sensation often. My wife and I are more than just "married". We're best friends and companions. I wish that more couples could experience what we have. I'm a lucky man.

Yep, I agree. DW isn't just my wife, she's also my best friend, my navigator, my organizer and occasionaly my field surgeon. <img src="/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I'm lucky to have her!!!

-Blast

A very lovely lady friend of mine told me that she wanted "perfect" in the man she marries. Her sister's married with two kids. I told her that if she wants "perfect", she had better enjoy being the left on the shelf maiden aunt.....

No one can expect "perfect". A decent man/woman, Yes. "Perfect", No.

Many a nail on the head has been hit in this discussion. How about the view from a single guy?

I don’t' want kids, Marriage=Kids
Wives are more annoying than I can take right now, Friends Wives=Annoying
I can’t afford it. Wives=Money, Me=No Money
I want to travel and do crazy things Wife=Fun killer
I was raised with a standard of living I want to maintain Bad job+Schooling=NO MONEY
I want perfection Human=Imperfection.
I might move every 2 years and do things a couple can’t Wife=Stability Me=Not stable right now.

Generalizations, Yes, My opinions, Yes. Deal with it.

*nods in agreement with the green sage*

Marriage is a social custom, defined by local mores, traditions and laws. People get married for various reasons all the time, none of them terrible special or important.

Love is the real thing. Can't be regulated, taxed, or turned into a tool of state.

*growls* Yes, this mean, grumpy old bird is a closet romantic. And anyone who laughs or stares will find a fishhook in thier cereal one morning. A big one.

We travel and do crazy things together. Can't complain in that department

If you want to know what nasty looks like, try yours truely when I catch someone trying to wreak someone elses relationship.
I have never found myself a soulmate and I get seriouly pissed off at people who have wreaked their own relationships and decide that because they ain't happy, no one else is going to have one either.

A lot of it depends on what expectations that you have about marriage.

Suitability? perfect vs. average... Our popular culture teaches us to value the flash over the substance. This works great for photo-ops and sucks for long term marriages. Partnership, Communication, Common Interests and Relative Libedo are far more important. <img src="/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Economics? Again depends on your expectations -- Are you looking for the 50's single income household with a picket fence? Is materialism a value that you share? Then, yes your income level going into a marriage is a big concern. Are you both looking to work as equal partners on the combined household, and seek out a less materialistic life? Then it's actually cheaper to get married or at least live together with the efficiency of shared resources.

In a survival situation? Its definitely valuable to have a second pair of hands that you can trust completely and psychologically healthier if you're isolated for even a short period of time. But, all these concerns are still the last reasons you should consider...

It's all about love...

(note to self: extra affection tonight for her crazy, nerdy and fuzzy hubby <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />)

Homewreckers are despicable -- male and female alike. I have seen way too many children grow up without a father or mother around because of them. Sure, the adulterer among the married couple is guilty and can start the affair, yadda, yadda, yadda.....but the homewrecker is a key ingredient that has to be there. Preachers, deacons, you name it: homewreckers come in all shapes and sizes.