Saw this posted on another forum, about the St. Louis storm & blackout:

<<On the other hand, first friend I mentioned was at work and en-route to home when the storm hit (luckily! he usually parks right where the tree fell) He gets home to his apartment and his girlfriend is sitting on the stairs crying her eyes out "I didn't know what to do! The lights are all out! I didn't know how to reach you! (temporary cell phone outages) I couldn't get any money from the ATM!"

He says, "Well, let me break out my kit." So he pulls his 30 gallon Rubbermaid bin, digs some candles and a couple of flashlights. Says, "You're not dressed properly if we have to do any walking. Here's some blue jeans that should fit you and here's some tennis shoes -- might be a bit big, but better than flip-flops. I've got some sleeping bags if you want to spend the night someplace else. I can heat up some backpacking food if you're hungry. Oh, and I always keep some cash on hand, let's see ...I've got about $200..."

His girl friend interrupted sarcastically, really agitated, "Oh yeah, you must be Mr. Big Time Preparedness! You're just loving this! You're just reveling in all this survivalist stuff!" >>

I think I would have grabbed my kit and turned on my heel.

"Boys and their toys...." is typically the response I get from my girlfriend when she sees me arranging kit. I guess it depends on whether he really cared for her or not. I would have stated: "Ok, I can put it all back and we can do without it then!" Then wait to see what her response would be. My guess is he would get an apology, but she might just have started bawling again.

Also, different people react differently to stressful situations.

There's gotta be something there, or that relationship is smoking and the ground is getting closer. I wouldn't have told her about the cash, from the sounds of it, but who am I to judge his choice.

Bah. Dude needs a new GF. <img src="/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

Lets analyse the girl's reaction. Society has created an illusion of well being, continuity and control. One of the sad results is a populace largely emasculated with a false sense of entitlement. I'm going to be 20 something and beautifull forever and I DESERVE a BMW, bee sting lips and an ambient room temperature climate of 79 degrees with lemon slices in my bottled water. Thats sad, but no sadder than the popular media image of 'survivalists' who reject and THREATEN that same infallible society. When the monsters came in TREMORS who got the most laughs? Not the two bumbling heros, but the couple with a GUN COLLECTION. The girlfriend was upset, facing perhaps for the first time the realisation water comes
warm with no lemon. She reacted much like a disoriented lost hiker hiding from rescuers or survivors of a disaster blaming rescue personel for not coming fast enough. Again, it's the unfortunate displacement of individual self reliance by a society modeled on complacency.

With me it's always like this: I buy something, my family/parents criticizes me....... and then they need it! Every time!
I buy flashlights/ light-sticks/ candles: power fails. I but Water-Jel: someone get's burned.

The general attitude: It's always unneccesary to be prepared untill the SHTF, and that is a really bad thing.

I know what you mean. Everyone thought I was overdoing it when I bought a tool box (under $10.00 at Wal Mart) for a home FAK. Every week without fail , I would add to it . I have bandaged lots of boo boos and they were glad I took the time. It was well worth the effort and wasn't very expensive.

The old saying 'Any idiot can be uncomfortable' applies I think- generally unprepared people [censored] and moan and (mostly) muddle through.

You can sit in the dark and be cold and hungry and not die. I'd just prefer not to.

If I treated my GF like that in such a situation, I might need a new one too. The guy may need to improve his people skills.
Let´s face it: The girl hit the nail right on the head with remarkable precision. The guy must have enjoyed the opportunity to show off his level of preparedness.
I do not dispute the need to be prepared but there are different ways to handle an emergency situation. Most certainly one of them would have left the girl in a much better mood. Handling a situation like that should provide comfort to all people involved.

You're kidding, right? The guy goes out of his way to provide for her, she [censored] him out, and he's wrong?!?!?!?!

I have to disagree with you on this one. In an emergency I don't have time to put anyone on a pedestal. If you aren't prepared for a situation you have no right to complain because someone else is prepared. He offered to help her. If you cant help a situation then you shouldn't hinder it by whining. If you look at power outs as an adventure instead of like it's the end of the world then it makes it a lot easier. Attitude is really important to survival not just to every day life.

Yeah, he could very well be wrong. You're dealing with a high stress situation. If he handled her in a chauvinistic manner, he deserves the smack down.

Say my wife needs a flashlight. I ALWAYS have one. She knows this and depends on it. If I give mine to her, but tell her she should be better prepared next time, she'll be angrier than a wet hornet, and I deserve to get stung.

If I give her my light, but I simply say, here use mine, then all is well.

In these cases, gear is important. But not ALL important. Context is also important. What you say and how you say it is also important. If you act Holier Than Thou, then you should get your butt kicked.

-- Craig

Well said, Craig. In our society today, whether we like it or not (I admittedly do not), people take things such as tone of our voices, the expression on our faces, our body communication or whatever else real serious these days. For example, just the way you look at a person can be described as being intimidating to them, whether you meant to or not. The normal, relaxed expression on my face just looks like I am one mean-ass s.o.b., but I am harmless. I had to learn to smile and such and express myself in other ways or I scare the hell out of people.

I didn't find his treatment of her especially chauvinistic, and I'm usually fairly quick to cry foul if I catch a whiff of that disease. He seemed like he was enjoying the power outage - a chance to demonstrate that he is not insane for preparing - bad things, even simple inconveniences ssuch as a power outage, happen. While she may have found his I-told-ya-so behavior annoying - he was helping her. She was the one in the wrong - she was uprepared and she was whining because he WAS prepaered. How self centered can one be? She should have sucked it up and dealt with it chewing her piece of humble pie and learning (hopefully) from the situation..

Hi,

Maybe it's because I'm an only marginally prepared female, but given the limited amount of information in the post, I think that both the guy and his GF were out of line. The GF was unprepared, so shame on her. But a lot of what the guy says is showing off and annoying and *not* helpful, so shame on him too.

So there's a blackout. So his GF is at his apartment and doesn't know what to do. So why the heck does the guy start talking about having to do some walking? Why can't they just hang out at his apartment? Why the heck does the guy offer a sleeping bag for sleeping "someplace else"? Even if they're not that close, he should have a sofa in his apartment, right? Why isn't he offering to let her spend the night there?

He's reveling in having all this preparedness stuff and wants to show it off, even though (based on the limited info in the post) much of the stuff is irrelevant to the actual scenario, and isn't helpful. GF sees this and is rightfully annoyed.

Being prepared is part having stuff on hand, and part knowing what to do (or not do) with it when an emergency situation occurs. It sounds like this guy has the first part down, but needs work on the second.

How about this for a different approach.
"Okay, I'm here now, calm down. I've got some stuff to help us out. Here are some flashlights. How much cash do you need? Here. You can spend the night here if you like. Are you hungry? I'm hungry. I'll cook this. While I'm cooking, let's turn on my radio to see if we can get some news. ..."

Now, maybe there's more to the scenario that would change my opinion and make his actions make more chivalrous. But as is, I think that both parties could have behaved better.

-Kuovonne

Kuovonne, I think that you analysed the situation well. It is easy for us guys to brag and show off a little without really meaning to.

This type of account which is obviously being told from the guy's point of view, has most likely been sanitized a little in the telling. Just a thought. Without being there it is hard to judge.

Seems to me that they were both in the same situation. Both were without power. Maybe there were more storms coming and they may have needed to go to a shelter. I saw that he offered several options. Clothes, candles, flashlights, food, sleeping bags and money. Should he have begged her to take it? Even though she was unprepared she could have at least been civil. Didn't sound to me like she even offered a kind word. Maybe I'm wrong but I think when someone offers to help you , you at least say thank you. Just my opinion

You're better prepared than most. By a long shot. This young lady sounds like she was utterly without a clue, but there are things that we don't know. Power being out could have just been the topper to a horrible day. Or, she could just be one of the great unwashed, in which case, I stand by my earlier statement.

But yes, he did stick his feet in his mouth. Pretty deeply. But again, there are things we don't know in this. Were there lights on that could be seen, maybe at a resturant? Was the building one of the new concrete ones where you can't open the windows and they planned on AC constantly (we call them ovens around here)?

Too many variables unaccounted for.

Me, if there is a safe park nearby, I see the chance to see the stars. Poor city people- that is the thing I miss the most when I'm not in the country. I like looking up and knowing that I am living on a dust mote, makes problems seem more managable. <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I agree that there are too many variables to know who was right/wrong or both.

A good rule that I've learned to stick to, is that someone must ask me for help if they know what they need and know that I have it. There are too many "I want to do it my self"ers out there.

I'll offer polite sudgestions if someone needs something, but doesn't know either what it is that they need, or where/how to get it.

Something like: "Well, I can't see all to well in here cause it's a bit dark, but I have a flashlight if you need help finding those keys."

But I've been yelled at before for paying for dinner with my emergency cash, so I know how it can happen. I was with a group of coworkers and we didn't realize that it was a cash-only joint. We were only about $15 short and started asking if anyone knew of a nearby ATM. We were in a bit of a hurry and it was too long of a walk to wait while someone hoofed it, so I broke out another $20 bill that I had in my stash. One of my coworkers then proceded to tell me how inconsiderate I was. I just said that I put this bill in a different part of my walet a while ago and had forgotten about it untill just then. It was hard not to walk out of the resteraunt with my extra cash (my dinner was paid for), but for the sake of the others I didn't.

I will NEVER again offer any of my emergency stuff that is not asked for, especialy for something so trivial.

I have family in St Louis and when we talked to them they were debating going to a safe place. I didn't see where the guy was so wrong in offering his GF options. I read it 3 times and I guess I missed the part where he was being so inconsiderate. She was clearly upset, he was just showing her it wasn't the end of the world. In an emergency , the first thing you need to do is take stock of what you have and come up with a plan. If they needed to go to a safe place, why wasn't his offer acceptable?

Dr. Phil or somebody said that's the worst thing you can say to a woman in crisis...relax, calm down. <img src="/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />

If these people (if this scenario is actual) are both adults and older than about 25, then they both need Mo Howard to smack their heads together for 'em. She apparently is prone to histrionics, and he apparently thinks he was born to save the day. A clue, followed by a grip, would be swell ideas.

Okay, maybe saying "calm down" wouldn't be the best thing to do. However, I figured that I'd get jumped on if I went with my original idea "I'm here and I'll take care of everything". Of course, later after everything has calmed down, that could be followed up with a gentle discussion of what they can do to give her more confidence regarding what to do in future emergencies.

-Kuovonne

No. Because, given the limited amount of information that I have from the posting, much of what he offered was unnecessary.

There is no discussion of going to a shelter. And even if they do, what's wrong with his car? It's there because he just drove up. If he wants to save gas, he doesn't explain that.

As for the shoes, I think that her existing shoes (flip-flops) would be a much better choice than the ones he provides that are probably too big. Considering that they won't have to be walking through debris (it's a power outtage, not an earthquake) and that it isn't cold (or she wouldn't be wearing flip-flops to begin with), she would be far better off with flip-flops that ill fitting shoes without socks, which is a sure recipe for blisters.

The candles are a safety hazard.

The food might be nice, but she hasn't said that she's hungry.

That leaves the flashlights and cash as the only things that are really useful as far as I can tell without more information.

Yes, a "thank you" would have been nice on her part, and she should have been better prepared. However, I maintain that he was just reveling in the situation and he could also have behaved better. Even a bit more explaination on his part could have been better. (e.g. "I think we should go to a shelter, and we have to walk because my car is low on gas. These clothes will be more comfortable for you, and what is your shoe size? Let's take these sleeping bags along because they might not have enough at the shelter. Let's have a snack before we go. And I've got enough cash to see us through a couple of days.")

Oh, and she is his GF. I think that means that she is allowed to have a nervous breakdown in front of him. That's what good friends are for.

-Kuovonne

I think the this power out wasn´t a real emergency for the guy and story might be slightly biased. It seemed to me like he seized the opportunity to enjoy himself and play Mr Well-Prepared.
If it´s going to be an adventure then it could be an adventure for both of them. The guy was the one who could have turn the situation.He clearly missed an opportunity to make it easier for both of them.
BTW: I didn´t state that the girl was right. She wasn´t either. However I was sure that someone would point htat out.

Actually I´m not kidding. The girl was in distress. Crying her eyes out and trying to reach her boy friend sounds like a cry for help to me. Not being able to get the boyfriend on the phone added to the stress. Judging from the story the guy did not even try to help to decrease the stress. That would have been very high on the priority list. The way he offered help is a good way to add more stress until it was enough for her. The guy was in the position to do much better. He flunked on that one so he was wrong.
And yes, the girl should have been prepared or at least not [censored] him out. But she just wasn´t in the shape to act in a rational way. So maybe we should be prepared to deal distressed people too.

That's why I carry Duct-Tape!! <img src="/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Are you married? I am. The wife does not suck it up and deal with it.

That's freaking army talk. Not relationship talk. Men do that. That's what guys do. We get off on that. Nuances count here.

Wives and girlfriends do not and should not chew humble pie. Our job is to make their lives easier. Period. Maybe you should get out a little bit more.

Craig

If you have to coddle someone in a minor inconvenience like a power outage, how do you think they'll react if the SHTF? You aren't helping them by "making things easier", you're hurting them. You only help them by helping them learn. What happens to a SO if we're hurt, missing or dead and they've come to expect someone "yes dear" ing them. Do you think someone else will coddle them or take advantage of them. They're not second class citizens, and shouldn't be treated as such. This isn't the Victorian era.

Okay, to add my perspective as a delicate flower of a female.... I think that they are both lucky they weren't in a dire emergency.

The male in question seems to have acted typically of a preparedness junkie (maybe the stress of the situation made him go a bit overboard), but he probably thought that showing off his level of preparedness and go-to attitude would help his GF feel safe. For some people it probably would have, and the fact that this guy was willing to go as far as he could with his supplies FOR HER should be appreciated.

However, she was obviously in some serious distress from the day's events and maybe just needed to be held for a moment and allowed a good cry (or a slap in the face) rather than be shuttled off somewhere in strange clothes and carrying a 30-gallon Rubbermaid container between the two of them. It sounds like they were already in a secure location, so perhaps she just needed to mentally regroup and get her barings, and in her stress couldn't appreciate her BF's perceived "Gung-ho" attitude. Personally, though, if my significant other reacted to my help that way, or was that hysterical about a blackout, I would rethink my personal relationships.

That being said, they reacted poorly to the situation in respect to each other's emotional capabilities. But having disappointed myself once or twice during fierce storms and other emergencies, I can cut them both some slack and hope that they work on this. You never know just how you're going to react, but there is no place for ingratitude, whining, or leadership battles during an emergency situation. As a couple they should learn how to act as a team and be able to support each other.

Well hello there, Delicate Flower...grin...

May I say as a happily married man of almost 15 years (this December 28th), that I have managed to persuade my wife to carry a SureFire E2e with her every day.

This is in addition to the usual lipstick and cosmetics and such. Her cosmetics are HER EDC.

She also carries an ancient Wenger Swiss Army that her Great Aunt gave her many years ago. I keep it cleaned and sharpened for her.

But she will now ask me, prior to business trips and such, what do you think I should take. This would be in addition to her cosmetics. If the crapola hits the fan, her instinct will be to grab her bag of cosmetics, because, as she said, I wanna leave a good-looking corpse.

In other words, should she die out there, she's dying with full makeup on. <img src="/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

In these situations, I make my usual reply: What do I know, I'm just a guy. Or, I'm sorry, I was handicapped from birth with a male brain. <img src="/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

-- Craig

Craig, I'm a woman and will gladly eat humble pie anytime. I find it goes best with vanilla ice cream. Maybe that's because I am more than willing to accept when I've made mistakes, being just as human as anybody else. I can also take it full in the face when someone points them out to me. Refusing to acknowledge when you've done wrong, refusing to regret your actions, means you will not grow any wiser or be any better of a person.

Imagine if the couple in question was in a REAL emergency, and the GF, having learned nothing from her previous experiences and her attitude had grown unchecked, hindered the situation so much that her boyfriend got hurt trying to "save" her rear end? Would she go down screaming that none of it was her fault, that there was nothing she could've done to help him out? Could she live with that?

It is definitely endearing to see the things my husband does to make my life easier, but I am grateful for it and repay him in kind. Even if the GF from the story missed the message, she should be grateful that he was even able to help at all, and resolve to be able to take care of herself the next time she's alone.

Exactly. And women can see attitude like that coming from miles away. And we dumb guys will be saying, Huh?

-- Craig

Doesn't work. I've found the best way is to literally talk them to the point they can tie thier shoes, and give them a simple task to do.

I don't know. It sounded to me like he did attempt to decrease the stress by demonstrating that they had everything they needed. I don't think there's any way, from a second hand post of the incident from ONE point of view, to really gage just how out of line either of them were - I still take exception to some one who has made no effort themselves to criticize some one who has and who is helping them. As far as social skills go - they could possibly both use another go-round at charm school. Perhaps they're a good match afterall.

Well - you're right, I'm not married.



As a female I find this attitude to be both charming and repulsive. Charming in that you obviously want to take care of women and charish them. Repulsive in that it also goes some distance in infantilizing women as people who NEED to be taken care of as opposed to human beings who can, indeed, suck it up and get on with it. I wouldn't expect anyone to put it to their spouse in the blunt fashion that I did, but the end effect should be the same - a team effort. You both help yourselves and you both help one another.

Then again - I've never claimed to have shining people skills. I have very little patience with those who develop, as a personality trait (not talking about disability here) the aura of "Helplessness" and expect to be Done for.



No need to get personal.

Being a guy and therefore somewhat biased with thinking a little differently, there appears to be three broad types of female out there.

1. The type who is a princess (head in the clouds), requires her every whim to be met from the BFs credit card, and expects most things other than shopping to be done for them.

2. The type who is ruggedly dependant, is offended if a guy even offers to open a door for them and shoulders more than their fair share of everyday life.

3. The middle group who are friends and companions, feet set somewhat on the ground, tender but brave, glad to pull their weight with their husband. In other words part of a team. (or wanting to be)

Women are generally speaking, the more tender sex and although they need cherishing and nurturing (don't we all), if they are pampered and not encouraged to be partners, the relationship is sailing for the reef.

I like the type of girl who is tender but also happy to be up on the roof laying tiles with her husband. Mind you they are few and far between these days!

No offence to the ladies of the forum. It is just that our civilization doesn't seem to be making many of that model anymore. <img src="/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Macgyver,
Yep they run the spectrum. My wife is somewhere in the middle.

Really - I think what the guy needed to do was 1)Give her a BIG hug when he first got there, THEN talked "OK, lets go get out some stuff", and do it calmly - then if she gave him the "your getting off on this" - the trick is to keep your cool "Yep, I am! I'm getting to rescue My Beautiful Lady in Distress" - What has he done? 1)Made a joke of it in a high stress situation, 2)Complimented her, 3)Changed the atmosphere. Then ask for her HELP "can you hold X, can you do Y" ,even if he doesn't really need that help - call it a confidence building exercise

Heck - last blackout, I had to remind my wife where the flashlights are (she and the kids move them around), I unlocked the garage, took out some chemlites for her (she forgot we had them), showed her where the batteries are, pointed out that the gas BBQ worked fine, that the POTS phone still worked, I hooked the scanner to local police and Ham radio freqs, and then I went to do my shift helping out with ARES. Secure the home front FIRST, then go

I pretty much agree on that. I would fall into the 3rd catagory. My BF knows he can count on me in an emergency as much as I can count on him. In the event of just a power out, he would hurry home, not because he would think I would need to be rescued but because he would know I would have a candlelit dinner waiting for him and it's his job to open the wine. I would rather be an asset to him than a liability. My daughter would be prepared but she wouldn't go the extra mile, she would stay at her house. So I guess she would fall into the second catagory, more of an asset than a liability. Now my goddaughter is a total princess. The only help she would be to anyone in an emergency, including herself, would be to give everyone a make-over. I'm still working on her. She would definitely come to my house in an emergency, or I would have to go and get her. Total liability. I think in any relationship you should strive to be an asset. The more prepared you are the less likely you are to panic.

I've been married for more than a few years now so I like to think I know a little bit about the female mind. I'm not foolish enough to think I know a lot, though.

Here's my take: She wasn't looking for help, supplies, cash or anything material. She wanted EMPATHY. Not comfort, empathy. If he had said "Oh, thank God you're here, I was worried when I couldn't contact you too. I don't know what I would have done if I couldn't find you. You must have been so scared. Every day, every hour, every minute away from you is like a lifetime, Margaret!"

And she whould have responded: "My name is Cindy, you $@#$!"

Great one! This thread needed a little lightening up. Thanks!

Sorry about that. Long day at the office.

Heat + humidity + big project = pounding headache on top of a migraine.

And you're right. I do cherish and respect women and their presence in my life. I make sure they realize this.

Too many women are unappreciated -- or underappreciated -- by the men in their lives.

I think you should be get an award for trying to enlighten your goddaughter. I wish I could get my sisters to think about this stuff.

Most people just don't think about preparedness, women or men. We all know friends and family that could not last 1 day with the water off. But in this case the BF should have reassured his GF by pulling out a flashlight, cranking up the emergancy radio, and then ask her what she would like to do. Either bug out or stay and drink some beer/wine. Not make her feel stupid or insignificant.

My wife of many years could survive if she had too, former girl scout, but when bad thinks happen she likes me to take care of it. This includes her car getting stick in the mud on a country road, power outage, and even when my son hurts himself. And when I whip out the BOB, Medical Kit, or what even is needed she is relieved. Later after the stress is gone she will laughs about it. She will say that maybe it was not a waste of money to put those things together.

All I am trying to say is in any relationship one person will take the lead for a specific task, be that cleaning, paying the bills, or preparedness. For we can not all be the leaders, and a good leader helps his charges.

There is a differance between taking stock and showing off. He could have mentally taken stock and then started to destress the situation. By telling her that they should prepare to bug out is not helping. Buging out is a serious decision to make. All parties should be mentally ready for it even before you start to gear up.

I guess my relationship is different than a lot. We don't really have a leader. We do everything together so we learn from each other. He taught me how to take a car apart and put it back together, I taught him how to cookand do laundry. We really are a great team. We don't have a womans job nor a mans job at home. We just consider it a job that needs to be done and we usually do it together because it's more fun and it makes the job go faster. I don't have a lot of patience with people that can't see past their own wants. The " ME ME ME" attitude makes for stressful situations. I have convinced my goddaughter to go camping with me this weekend for a few days and she doesn't know it yet but her make-up isn't coming with us. You all may be able to hear her scream when she realizes it.

My wife and I do not play well together unless one of us is in charge of the activity. That being said in my house we do not have his and her jobs. It is who can do the job with out complaining too much.

With your goddaugther, if you are out of the light pollution areas you can bring your binoculars and show her the moon, and after that give her a couple of glowsticks to play with. I have never met a child that does not like to play with glowsticks. The best part is that they are easier to track in the dark. Enjoy the camping trip.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!

I came back to the original post so that no-one would take this as a direct, personal response, and I realizs that TEOTWAWKI is pretty much a forbidden subject here, but I just can't help myself... when the excrement does indeed contact the rotary wind propelling machine, I hope some of you folks think twice before walking into MY bivuac... be forwarned, your toes WILL be stepped on, and you WILL be told to grow a set or get down the road... oh, and, by the way, if I've got the goodies to get by, all the psycho-babble in the world won't get ya anything but a boot in the 'hind quarters... go cry on somebody else's shoulder.
{RANT OFF}

Troy

It's built into men to be protective, or at least into the ones who should be allowed to breed. It's a good survival/courtship strategy when viewed from outside of the slightly less modern perspective. I try to be chivalrous in my every day life.

That being said, the kind of girls I'm attracted to are gear heads and she-geeks whos' idea of a good time is a week camping out of the survival bag, or an afternoon spent burning up a thousand rounds of WWII era ammunition on the range, and has a strong sense of honor and a wide survivor streak.

I don't think the two concepts are incompatable. If I ever find someone, and a guy is running his mouth about her, I'm likely to toss him into traffic. If the roles are reversed, I plan on bailing her out for pretty much the same reason. I feel no shame in admiting that I've gone to my little sister and said "could you look at my car? I swear, I didn't hit it." This is the same little sister who's ex'es have been told "look, if I find out you were even thinking loudly about annoying her, you'll want to find a nice hole in a far country." Chivalry can go both ways, I think. I don't NEED to be helped most of the time, and I wouldn't want to have to help someone most of the time. But there is difference between NEEDING help and WANTING it.

Oh, and you can't deny that most women find us handy for dealing with items on the tops shelf. Sure you can find a ladder or one of those grabby sticks, but we're convenient. <img src="/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

This is one of the funniest threads I've seen here!

I read all the posts, then went back to the original, to make sure I hadn't missed something. I heard there was a storm and some power outages and flooding in St. Louis on the TV at work. Is this the big deal?

Not a terrorist attack, not a major hurricane, not a big cluster of tornadoes, not a major earthquake, volcano eruption, super tsunami or massive alien attack.

It's just a storm and the power went out. What kind of big friggin' deal is THAT?!

This dimwit of the female persuasion lives in the Storm Center of America, and is bawling because the power went out? And this is Number What of how many times this has happened in her poor little life?

She had shelter, the storm would probably pass in a few hours, and BF had just arrived. So.... exactly where was the problem?

Drama queens like this aren't born, they're made. They've learned how to manipulate people (esp guys) far better than most. It's all about them: So what are you going to do for me NOW?

The guy has just offered to provide her with light, shelter, food, warmth and money. But that wasn't enough. She wanted him to baby her, commiserate with her about how badly the gods were treating her, and heaven knows what else.

This wasn't a survival situation, it was a stage.

Sue

I think the ideal woman should look like Pamela Anderson, survive like Kanaalaq, and fight like Ellen Ripley. Now, is that so much to ask? <img src="/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Seriously, I think the stereotypical helpless woman must be more myth than fact. Many if not most of the women I know these days are at least as tough as the guys. Maybe it's a geographical thing or maybe just socio-economic. At any rate, I don't worry about the women in my life so much as I worry about what they'll do to the men who cross them <img src="/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />

heh - RE Top shelf
My wife is the same height I am, but I have very short arms and legs, where she is the exact opposite. I ask HER to get things from the top shelf

See, from my perspective the guy blew it a long time ago. I prefer the "Silverback" approach. All my women (wife and two daughters) know what everything I own (that I want them to know about) is for and I have given them some level of training so that they can make most of it work as intended. I've also spent hours trying to get them into a mindset to solve problems and face adversity without panic or taking a victim's stance. Now here's the key part:

When one of them gets overwhelmed, as is the case moreso with the female of this species by my experience, and they have an emotional release, then I do the Silverback thing. I quietly approach and let my gentle confidence (even if only an act, sometimes even the silverback can get his neck hairs raised) calm them, if need be I will groom on them, or display for them, or collect up a bunch of yummy shoots for them to munch (or in this case, raid the chocolate jar). The point is, when someone is upset, the first thing ought to be to get them back into a comfort zone if possible and help them find a way to handle the situation. Training, even the "I told you so" kind, should be done later, when the threat is passed, and criticism can be more easily accepted.

To rear up and beat the chest when the clan is already stirred up just makes you the focus of their rage or further agitation.

ahem, some of my female cousins are drama queen. They demand luxury escape vechile to be provide by bf or they would dump bf. There still plenty of drama queens out there. I often see them shopping on the weekend at high end women clothing store.

Try working tech support. Drama-trauma isn't just for the "queens" any more.

I know that all too well! i used to work level 1 techsupport for a small ISP

Susan said:



While not really related to the original post, the "big deal" was that although it was "just" a power outage, it has turned out to be an outage that has lasted for some people almost 2 weeks now, during the biggest heat wave in 3 years (heat indexed of around 115). It has killed about 25 people in STL now I believe. Also, I don't know if you have ever been to St. Louis, but there are several parts of that city that you would not want to be in when the lights are off for several days.

Shut the power off in this country for a couple weeks and see what happens (especially in the big cities). It wouldn't be pretty.

Greg

Well, yes, I have been there in summer. And I got out as fast as I could. My sympathies to all the residents.

But I'll bet that most of the people who died are old, or working harder than they should be in that awful heat.

But that wasn't Girlie's problem. She wanted lights, she wanted a phone to complain on, and she wanted money. That seemed to be the extent of her grief.

She wasn't in a wheelchair. She wasn't gasping for air because her oxygen machine wasn't working. She wasn't even in the first stage of heat exhaustion. There were no bad guys kicking the door in. The house/apartment wasn't on fire. Her little world was a tiny bit off track and she just wanted to whine.

Sorry, I'll save my sympathy for the people who deserve it. Silly little twits just aren't on my list.

The shallow end of the gene pool still needs more chlorine.

Cynical Sue