You're kidding, right? The guy goes out of his way to provide for her, she [censored] him out, and he's wrong?!?!?!?!

I have to disagree with you on this one. In an emergency I don't have time to put anyone on a pedestal. If you aren't prepared for a situation you have no right to complain because someone else is prepared. He offered to help her. If you cant help a situation then you shouldn't hinder it by whining. If you look at power outs as an adventure instead of like it's the end of the world then it makes it a lot easier. Attitude is really important to survival not just to every day life.

Yeah, he could very well be wrong. You're dealing with a high stress situation. If he handled her in a chauvinistic manner, he deserves the smack down.

Say my wife needs a flashlight. I ALWAYS have one. She knows this and depends on it. If I give mine to her, but tell her she should be better prepared next time, she'll be angrier than a wet hornet, and I deserve to get stung.

If I give her my light, but I simply say, here use mine, then all is well.

In these cases, gear is important. But not ALL important. Context is also important. What you say and how you say it is also important. If you act Holier Than Thou, then you should get your butt kicked.

-- Craig

Well said, Craig. In our society today, whether we like it or not (I admittedly do not), people take things such as tone of our voices, the expression on our faces, our body communication or whatever else real serious these days. For example, just the way you look at a person can be described as being intimidating to them, whether you meant to or not. The normal, relaxed expression on my face just looks like I am one mean-ass s.o.b., but I am harmless. I had to learn to smile and such and express myself in other ways or I scare the hell out of people.

I didn't find his treatment of her especially chauvinistic, and I'm usually fairly quick to cry foul if I catch a whiff of that disease. He seemed like he was enjoying the power outage - a chance to demonstrate that he is not insane for preparing - bad things, even simple inconveniences ssuch as a power outage, happen. While she may have found his I-told-ya-so behavior annoying - he was helping her. She was the one in the wrong - she was uprepared and she was whining because he WAS prepaered. How self centered can one be? She should have sucked it up and dealt with it chewing her piece of humble pie and learning (hopefully) from the situation..

Hi,

Maybe it's because I'm an only marginally prepared female, but given the limited amount of information in the post, I think that both the guy and his GF were out of line. The GF was unprepared, so shame on her. But a lot of what the guy says is showing off and annoying and *not* helpful, so shame on him too.

So there's a blackout. So his GF is at his apartment and doesn't know what to do. So why the heck does the guy start talking about having to do some walking? Why can't they just hang out at his apartment? Why the heck does the guy offer a sleeping bag for sleeping "someplace else"? Even if they're not that close, he should have a sofa in his apartment, right? Why isn't he offering to let her spend the night there?

He's reveling in having all this preparedness stuff and wants to show it off, even though (based on the limited info in the post) much of the stuff is irrelevant to the actual scenario, and isn't helpful. GF sees this and is rightfully annoyed.

Being prepared is part having stuff on hand, and part knowing what to do (or not do) with it when an emergency situation occurs. It sounds like this guy has the first part down, but needs work on the second.

How about this for a different approach.
"Okay, I'm here now, calm down. I've got some stuff to help us out. Here are some flashlights. How much cash do you need? Here. You can spend the night here if you like. Are you hungry? I'm hungry. I'll cook this. While I'm cooking, let's turn on my radio to see if we can get some news. ..."

Now, maybe there's more to the scenario that would change my opinion and make his actions make more chivalrous. But as is, I think that both parties could have behaved better.

-Kuovonne

Kuovonne, I think that you analysed the situation well. It is easy for us guys to brag and show off a little without really meaning to.

This type of account which is obviously being told from the guy's point of view, has most likely been sanitized a little in the telling. Just a thought. Without being there it is hard to judge.

Seems to me that they were both in the same situation. Both were without power. Maybe there were more storms coming and they may have needed to go to a shelter. I saw that he offered several options. Clothes, candles, flashlights, food, sleeping bags and money. Should he have begged her to take it? Even though she was unprepared she could have at least been civil. Didn't sound to me like she even offered a kind word. Maybe I'm wrong but I think when someone offers to help you , you at least say thank you. Just my opinion

You're better prepared than most. By a long shot. This young lady sounds like she was utterly without a clue, but there are things that we don't know. Power being out could have just been the topper to a horrible day. Or, she could just be one of the great unwashed, in which case, I stand by my earlier statement.

But yes, he did stick his feet in his mouth. Pretty deeply. But again, there are things we don't know in this. Were there lights on that could be seen, maybe at a resturant? Was the building one of the new concrete ones where you can't open the windows and they planned on AC constantly (we call them ovens around here)?

Too many variables unaccounted for.

Me, if there is a safe park nearby, I see the chance to see the stars. Poor city people- that is the thing I miss the most when I'm not in the country. I like looking up and knowing that I am living on a dust mote, makes problems seem more managable. <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I agree that there are too many variables to know who was right/wrong or both.

A good rule that I've learned to stick to, is that someone must ask me for help if they know what they need and know that I have it. There are too many "I want to do it my self"ers out there.

I'll offer polite sudgestions if someone needs something, but doesn't know either what it is that they need, or where/how to get it.

Something like: "Well, I can't see all to well in here cause it's a bit dark, but I have a flashlight if you need help finding those keys."

But I've been yelled at before for paying for dinner with my emergency cash, so I know how it can happen. I was with a group of coworkers and we didn't realize that it was a cash-only joint. We were only about $15 short and started asking if anyone knew of a nearby ATM. We were in a bit of a hurry and it was too long of a walk to wait while someone hoofed it, so I broke out another $20 bill that I had in my stash. One of my coworkers then proceded to tell me how inconsiderate I was. I just said that I put this bill in a different part of my walet a while ago and had forgotten about it untill just then. It was hard not to walk out of the resteraunt with my extra cash (my dinner was paid for), but for the sake of the others I didn't.

I will NEVER again offer any of my emergency stuff that is not asked for, especialy for something so trivial.