Your post is quite fascinating. I've run across your attitude in several other women, even friends. And I'm not wanting to sound nasty about this (really!), but... I get the impression that deep down, you are of the opinion that anyone's life is more valuable than your own. I just don't understand why some people, knowing how much true evil there is in the world, think that even the life of a whacked-out meth maggot is more precious than your own.

So your plan is to "Empty the clip / chamber as fast as possible... my goal would be to render the gun unusable by the enemy. I would be easily overpowered and the gun taken from me. When that happens, I don't want the gun to be loaded."

Why don't you want the gun to be loaded? Because they might kill you with it? But you've already made the decision to die, haven't you? You aren't making the incredibly dumb/silly assumption that if you don't cause trouble, he won't hurt you, are you? That old "turn the other cheek" crap of the ultimate victim? Will you beg for mercy from a psychotic right before he blows your head off? What makes you think that the guy isn't there to kill you from the get-go? Murder is NOTHING these days to many people-- it's like drinking a glass of water.

And would you think the same way if your SO was down, you were still up, and had a gun in your hand? Suppose you were babysitting for your sister or best friend --- would you be willing to "donate" the kids' lives, too?

Where do you draw the line?

I've always wondered (perhaps wrongly) that women who think that way might have been taught some behaviors that they just can't seem to break away from:

Dependence on someone else (daddy, brother, boyfriend, husband, total stranger resembling John Wayne) who will always be there to defend them from bad people and situations; or

That awful "be ladylike" mode that I was raised in back in the 50's (thankfully, it didn't take very well <img src="/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />), where you were supposed to take whatever anyone dished out. IOW, the education of the ultimate victim.

Is it your highest purpose in life to be a statistic? <img src="/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Sue