Yeah, if there's one thing I haven't been happy with it's the AW4D. It seems almost randomly activated and on snow has nearly caused an accident as it "slips" into 4x4 and traction was momentarily lost. And I avoided any AWD vehicles I saw for the reasons you mentioned.
When I owned my old school boxy 2WD cavalier and took it out hunting, trust me when I say it had no business going where it went. I'm not saying 2WD couldn't get you where you want to go, even partly off-road or back road. Like you said, a 4x4 is yet another tool in the arsenal. I was just trying to point out it's utility as it was questioned. I've been places in a 4x4 I am quite certain would simply stop any 2WD that attempted it.
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Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterwards.