Whear to start....
Look into JKD (Jeet Kune DO, other wise referred to as Bruce Lee's martial art, or some of the offshoot systems like PFS taught by Paul Vunak.
Dewey,
I have to partially disagree with your post. As far as the Akido techniques not working in confined spaces I mean. I have used them in very crowded places numerous times. The joint locks in Akido are the same in Traditional Japanese Jujitsu. Your entire first paragraph was great and I am inclined to agree with it.
Unfortunately most schools of matial arts either put the "Black Belt" goal first, or the spiritual side first and true self-defense takes a back seat.
Another good style to look into is Filipino Eskrima (or the variants of it such as Modern Arnis or Kali).
I would recommend any of the Material put out by Michael Janich at:
www.martialbladeconcepts.comI find his body of techniques to be very well suited to those with little to no experience (and just as applicable to those with more experience). With no prior experience his videos make a great guide for finding a competent instructor.
Just my $0.02 worth.