This is a question I have been thinking about for the last couple of days. What exactly should a young man know and what skills should he have by the time he leaves his fathers house to go out on his own?

I am thinking along several lines but obvious things like being able to drive (competently), changing a flat tire, shooting a rifle pistol and shotgun proficiently and safely are the kinds of things I am thinking of for skills.

For knowledge base I am thinking along the line of navigate with map and compass, keep a checkbook, competent in math etc. Anyway what do you all think??

What skills and knowledge should a young man have???

A formal course in etiquette and a working knowledge of a basic dress wardrobe. He may never dine with HRH Charles, but will know enough not to wear cowboy boots with a dinner jacket or eat his asparagus with a grapefruit spoon. Major literature is constantly being referenced in our society. The best class I ever took was the Bible as literature. It makes the silly squabble of intelligent design vs Evolutionary theory pretty hollow. When he's done another religous text studied in the same manner makes both more wondrous as a good read and expression of the divine. I would pass on the Mahabarada though, that tome took me a year in between light reading like War and Peace and Lord of the Rings. Has he read and attended a Shakespeare play? I would add a ballet, opera , classical concert and a day at an art museum. A second language opens the world's door if but a few inches. Find some hardscrabble, organic or traditional farm and put him behind a plow. If he can work in harmony with a molly mule the workplace is easy ( and a lot less engaging.) Can he cook? I could have resolved all those Cary Grant-Ingrid Bergman, Rock Hudson -Doris Day movies in one reel by cooking biscuits and sausage gravy along with coffee and serving breakfast in bed. If it was Dianna Rigg she could explain the T.V. Remote for me while tuning in Bugs Bunny. I have a family trauma mental block against anything electronic an irish screwdriver can't fix <img src="/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> But this generation seems to know everything in this blue screen alternative pluriverse <img src="/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Ack! Could we discuss something less controversial like handguns, knives, religion, or politics??? Seriously, that's a heck of a good question that most folks never think about - raising children seems to be haphazard these days.

Chris had good things on his list. Here's another philosophical starter list:

Specialization is for Insects

"A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.? Lazarus Long (Robert A. Heinlein, Time Enough for Love, 1973)

Basic Home Ec stuff like cooking, repair sewing, housecleaning, doing laundry from sorting to hanging (pressing), Auto mechanics 101, GOOD MANNERS, love of learning, scepticisim, optimism, willingness to act instead of gripe, etc etc - at some point we run into family and social values, eh? After we have grandkids and raise them, I'll have all the answers... <img src="/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

Good luck with your list!

Regards,

Tom

Given the nationwide negative (!) personal savings rate, massive credit card debt, zero retirement savings society we find ourselves in, make darn sure every young person receives some basic financial survival training.

Spend less than you make. Save the difference. Pay cash. Never carry a balance on a credit card. Balance your check book. Check your statements. Plan for your retirement and start early saving for it. Etc. Forget getting lost in the woods, buried in a snow drift, trapped in earhquake rubble, infected with the plague... the biggest threat to everyone is everyday life. <img src="/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

"What should a young man know?"

Mommy and Daddies phone number. <img src="/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

Stay away from women as long as possible.

Or at least know when to duck <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I'm pretty sure that a young man should know everything that a young woman should know--and vice-versa. Not that either group ever listens..... I sure didn't! <img src="/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Regards, Vince

- How to tie a tie.
- How to do laundry
- What things can actually still be fixed by you, the owner of something. This excludes most electronics. <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
- Hygiene. Clipping nails, combing hair, washing clothes, etc. You can't usually attract the opposite sex with long hair, smelly body, and dirty clothes.
- Why you really should take the garbage out when I asked, because now it smells and is rotting
- How your government is SUPPOSED to work for you
- How to deal with people. Huge, big, complicated, never ending, multiple point of view subject. Covers all of the major topic "no-nos" like drugs, self-defense, weapons, politics and religion. Know what all of the commonalities and differences are in all of the worlds religions. Know what battles to pick in your life. Unless you have alot of power and money already, being an a** all the time won't get you very far. Controlling temper is a big thing. You could be involved with the police, being a "good" person and respectful of the law, and have to deal with a cop who may make accusatory comments, or apper to be baiting you and/or harrassing you. You must truly resist the urge to box his ears. Battery on law enforcement officers, no matter the personality of the individual officer, do not look good. This constitutes a "really really big mistake"
- How to deal with people who are members of groups that you have strong opinions of (i.e. drug users, firearm "enthusiasts", homosexuals). Do you treat them as human, or not?
- It's okay to fail, just don't make any really really big mistakes (unfortunately, even childhood squabbles now can become felonies *sigh*)
- Cheating really does nothing to further yourself. You'll make yourself look like an expert on paper, and then an expert will find out you're not when you open your mouth. There goes the fun high-paying job.
- Find a job you truly enjoy working at. This includes the work itself, and the environment you are in (see the "dealing with people"). You could make $100,000 and have to deal with idiots and high stress every day. If you like that great, but you'll probably be more miserable than you can stand
- Party responsibly
- How to problem solve

I think the most important, articulate your individual views of the above, and why they are that way. For example, if you say "don't use drugs", stories about best friends who went down the wrong path and either died, lost their jobs, ended up in jail, or worse dead, may reinforce why you believe this way. Without any of this "supporting evidence", it's simpler to say "I'm you're parents, do as I say"

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!


--Rudyard Kipling

My father was a Sergeant with the Chicago Police Dept, killed in the line of duty when I was three years old. My mother never remarried. Not too many mementos left, but a prized one is a framed copy of the above. It has had to stand in for fatherly advice on a number of occasions. High standards, but isn't that we all wish for our kids.