ref: wine bottle - after tiring yourself out searching for a corkscrew, you could always push the cork into the bottle..... and if you are too sophisticated to leave the cork in then get some string of a reasonable diameter, tie a knot in the end, push it into the bottle, get the string under the cork and when you pull the string make sure the knot is behind the cork. Pull the string hard til the cork is pulled out of the bottle. If you are not sure how this is done, please feel free to bring any unopened bottles to my house and i shall demonstrate how it is done. Then you can practice until you have mastered this technique OR until we cannot focus on the bottles due to the imbibing of the contents.
Garlic press??? In the absence of this implement use a homemade pestle & mortar from the surrounding rocks & stones in the mentioned desert (unless you happen to be in a rock free desert, in which case just flatten the garlic bulbs with the flat of your trusty blade)
If anyone else has any problems, please feel free to ask. Now that I watch daytime TV, I can probably find a fix for just about anything............ Oh god someone help me...where's the off button, Good Morning is just starting.....goodbye cruel world